SEW

It's that time of year again. Spiritual Emphasis Week. God is already doing some crazy stuff on campus through the speaker we have this year: John Vermilya. He is speaking hard truth to this campus, and it is getting a response.

Be praying for the campus, for open hearts and open ears, and for protection against spiritual attack. But most of all, pray for the movement of the Holy Spirit to be manifest here in ways this campus has never seen before! God is doing something awesome this week.

What to write? I feel like writing, but every time I think of something to write I am somewhere other than my computer, and by the time I return home to finally do something here my moment of inspiration has already come and gone...

Since I have been watching episodes of MacGyver online lately I am realizing that I must have picked up some of his tendencies from watching the show as a kid. I remember being about 4 years old and having watched the show, trying to do a "MacGyver roll" to the side of our driveway in the grass there. My sister and I would take turns trying to do the shoulder roll that he did in the opening sequence. Also, he always looks around and notices things. I am a detail oriented person... I don't keep things in order, but I know the details of things. I haven't yet figured out how to do the things that he does with the random items that he uses. A lot of the analog technology that he has used is obsolete these days.

Aside from this short ramble on MacGyver I really don't have much to say right now. Maybe I will start taking notes on the things I want to blog about.... I have already had quite a bit of homework that I am trying to keep up on, so I can hardly remember anything for more than 5 minutes right now.... hmm... scenes from Memento are being recalled... although Polaroid film is too costly if even available these days...

Sometimes I wonder what people think of me. This is an ongoing struggle. I should be affirmed in the truth of who I am in Christ. And yet, I still get discouraged when I come into a very crowded class, and know some of the people, and yet there's still an empty seat next to me, while everyone else has someone to sit by.

Today we had the first Chapel of the semester. It was very different without my friends I usually sit with being there. So many adjustments this semester. There was a group of some upperclassmen and some freshmen who sat by me because of the place being so crowded today. It was good. Slightly awkward just coz of not knowing anyone, but alright. Dr. Cramer spoke today, as is tradition. I enjoy when he speaks. He didn't sing this year, though. He did mention the one song that he and his wife sing, that quotes the verse that says "He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it". He started his message with a couple of verses from Isaiah...

"Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland."

~Isaiah 43: 18-19

Dr. Cramer also spoke of relationships and community. The theme of the Chapel schedule is a coffee shop, because it is about more than coffee... It is about relationship, community, the experience, the conversation. I felt a bit sad yesterday as he kept going. I was thinking, "That's all well and good, but what if those who you have close relationships with, and those deep conversations with are too far away to enjoy a cup of coffee with? What then?". One thing is for sure, I cherish the times I have had with my friends. I have to keep in touch with my friends I have fellowshipped with for years, but I have to live where I'm at right now, too. My current situation at the coffee shop has been mostly studying by myself. Not too much community it seems. Or maybe I'm just not friendly enough with people or something. I don't know.

Anyway... I'm still wondering what this new thing is that God is doing. I can't "forget" certain past things. There are some past things, and there are some continuing things. The continuing relationships will not be forgotten. The past struggles, some of them I need to move beyond. To keep on going. To live in His truth, to TRUST Him.

Trusting has been a major topic lately. For provision, for healing, for joy, for His presence, His voice, His guidance.

My friend Ashley prayed for me yesterday and reminded me to trust Him for these things, and others.

I am longing to be refreshed by Him... to get back out in the middle of the dance floor...

Alone?

I went to the Back to School Party this evening after work. I felt incredibly alone. At least for a little while. It was so odd going without my close friends by my side. I walked around just feeling awkward for a while. Then saw some acquaintances and met a couple of new people. It was just really different.

I really need some God time. I hope i can get some time this weekend. I need it. Desperately.

Tomorrow will be interesting. The first day of school. I haven't had the time or the money to go shopping for new clothes or anything. Not even books. Still haven't got those. I will, hopefully tomorrow, as i have homework for Tuesday already. I am also picking up a copy of Office 07 tomorrow. I've been aiming to get it for a while, and haven't had the time to just go get it. Crazy what happens when you start working 10 hours a day or more.

I'm getting to know my roomies some. The third one finally moved in. We have a dorm meeting tomorrow night... well, perimeter houses meeting. So it'll be good to get to know who all is in the "outhouses".

The back of my head on the right side currently feels like someone is brushing a searing hot feather across it... That's the only way i can describe the weird feeling right now. It has me twitching every once in a while just coz of it being in a really bothersome spot. I woke up this morning to turn over and as i lay in bed i could not get back to sleep because it started to hurt/itch/whatever that feeling is described as. I felt like crying this morning. I kind of feel like crying now. The work day is going by so slowly, coz i'm in the office all day, i'm trying not to scratch my head, and i really can't scratch my head, coz that's not going to help matters any. It's the nerves that are being bothered, my skin only barely with the bumps from it. But it's the deeper nerves there being bothered. I can't do anything about it, but take my anti-viral medication.

This is driving me nuts.....

Thanks for the prayers.

Just an update...

Well, I did go to the nurse today about the swollen lymph nodes in my neck and the rash behind my ear. She sent me over to the doctor, which meant calling off work for the afternoon. She wanted me to get the rash checked out. So I went over to the doc and one of the residents working with him checked me out to begin with. Then he gave the doc a recap of everything when he came in. The doc took a look and finally came to the conclusion that it might be shingles... Lovely. I'm not that old, or that stressed, so i'm not quite sure why this has surfaced. I say surfaced, because it comes from the chickenpox virus, but isn't the same thing. But once you've had chickenpox and if the virus reactivates it comes out as shingles. So.... I'm on some medication for it for a week... 5 pills a day for a week. Lovely. But hopefully it makes the itching and pain go away for the most part. Also got some hydrocortisone cream to keep the itch from getting too bad.

Ugh

My head hurts. It's foggy. I can't even think or talk straight right now. I did not quite realize that I would be working all day the first half of this week. Tomorrow is uppers move in, so i'm going to be out helping people get online who will more than likely be more confused than the freshmen, since these are returning students coming in tomorrow. Possibly will be getting our other roommate tomorrow, too.

I've been getting enough sleep lately it seems, almost too much, but right now I'm just feeling icky. I'm going to try going a few days without soda and try to lay off the majority of junk food i've been eating lately. I need to get milk. I've been without milk for a few days now. I've been addicted to it lately.

Sunday morning I woke up with a really bad headache. It lasted most of the day. It came back in the evening just as I was getting ready to go to bed, too. I also noticed that most of the lymph nodes in my neck are all swollen and tender. Ugh. I just hope my head doesn't get all clogged up or anything for the first week of school. I think tonight is going to be a NyQuil night...

Tomorrow I have to be up early and at work at 8:45am to help the people moving in get online. It's gonna be a long week.