The semester is getting stressful.

I didn't really want to crawl out of bed and get out in the icky cold and slushy weather today to go to church, but I did anyway. During worship at church one of the pastors came up and talked about fear, and how God wanted us to put off fear for His joy. It was good to go up front and have friends pray for me... and then stomp on the cloak of fear. Fear of this lack of finances, of not knowing what I'm going to do in a few months after I graduate. Fear is debilitating and keeps us from the JOY that God has for us.

Today was not a complete cure for the fears we face. It's an everyday thing, throwing off that cloak of fear (or any other bondage that the enemy would try to put us under). Today was an encouragement.

Raising Financial Support

OK, So I am supposed to be going to a Youth Specialties conference in Nashville, TN the weekend before Thanksgiving. I am trying to raise support through a sort of non-conventional method... the internet. This is for the experience, to gain knowledge of youth ministry stuff like programs, ideas for youth groups, etc. Hopefully I can find some seminars relating to technology and youth. Anyway, down below you will see a widget from a site called "Chip In". It is a place where you can donate money to my PayPal account and help me to reach my goal of $350 for the cost of the registration/hotel/food. This is a very discounted price compaired to what some other college students are having to pay for this trip! So if you know me, or you just stumble across my blog here, and feel like donating something towards this to support me on this trip, thank you!

The last week has been insane... busy, stressful, exhausting... mostly just because of classes and homework and just being generally tired lately. Today was Free Burrito Day at Chipotle. I worked this evening from 5pm-9pm so I went there after I got off work before they closed. I had some foil wrapped around my wrist as a bracelet to get my free burrito. It was yummy. I didn't eat all of it either. Those things are massive. I also got chips and a drink just because I didn't want to just go in and get a burrito and that be it. I wanted to provide them with some business at least. Tomorrow I am going to be at Notre Dame for most of the day filling in at a concession stand for one of my friends. It's an opportunity to be on campus during a home game, and to make some money... which is good since I have some bills to pay off. Alright... I think I'm going to bed soon... I'm beat...

It seems that my room is like by brain... all scattered and disorganzed with no clue where to put everything...

I need to get to cleaning my room so I can think.... The problem is I tend to not be in my room much, except to sleep... although there are probably times where I could not be on the computer and instead get my room organized. I have to before next week... we have health checks late next week.

This Saturday is the Saturday Seminar. I'll be spending all day in 342.

The end of the semester is coming up fast. I feel unprepared. And although going home was good for me last week, I feel slightly out of touch with what I need to get done now that there are almost less than seven weeks left in the semester. And I have a lot left to do.

I'm currently working on some homework that I need to get done. I want to try to go to bed early tonight.... I haven't worked out since before last week, and I need to get enough sleep so I can go. I've been lacking in sleep, and my eyes have been dry and bloodshot because of that. The air has also been getting cold and dry, which hasn't helped, especially when riding my bike around campus. It seems though that since going home and having come back, with actually starting to exercise and change some of my eating habits, and trying to only drink diet soda if i drink soda, I am noticing some change in my weight. That is very encouraging. Either that, or my jeans need washed coz they're stretched out from wearing them... I'm not sure which...

On to the homework...

Loans.

I need them to get through school.

I can't get them... for whatever reason...

I am being hounded by the college to get loans through.

I am going to try to go talk to the financial aid people tomorrow to figure out what i need to do.

And, I just applied for another loan and it went through, and I just have to wait for it to come in the mail to sign it and send it back.

Hopefully I still graduate in the spring...

It's been a long week. It's going to be a longer one... This next week I need to get some doctor bills paid, get my oil changed in my car, get the plates on my car renewed, write some stuff for what my paper for Disciple Making Structures is going to look like, formulate my resume for Senior Sem. in YM., get some of my stuff from storage to take home, do some other class work stuff that I can't recall right now... and... get it all done before I go home Thursday morning... or rather Wednesday evening, so I can have my car packed before I head out Thursday morning.... Oh, it's going to be an interesting week...

feeling defeated

You ever just feel like you can't get ahead no matter what?

fight

have faith

believe

be patient

wait

roll with the punches

keep trusting

i

think

i

will

just

go

sit

in

a

corner

and

cry

thank

you

very

much

......

Maybe I'm just being emotional for no reason... or i'm simply stressed... or just simply feeling like all kinds of blessing are just passing by and landing with other people... i'm not trying to hide behind a door... i'm sitting out here in the open... i probably couldn't even get struck by lightning standing in an open field if i tried knowing the way things go for me...

maybe the enemy is just getting to me... or i just need sleep.... i have a fairly long day ahead of me tomorrow... or today... service day... then writing a paper that i've been putting off.... my muscles all ache because of finally working out today, for the first time in what seems like forever... so, i'm going to bed to try and get some sleep...