Infused

Just a thought I had on my drive back to my apt this evening. The songs on the radio and thoughts already spinning around in my head. *this was a few days ago, like last weekend I think* Anyway, the thoughts I was thinking that evening last week we turned to the word "Infused". I was listening to KLOVE on my drive back to town. The songs stirred my thoughts. I began to think about "soaking music" and the Kansas City International House of Prayer (KC-IHOP) and the music that used to be played there. I thought about what soaking music means: soaking in the presence of the Father. Does this mean soaking in His presence all around us, or does this mean letting His presence be inside of us so that we are infused with His presence as He permeates our being?

Then I looked up the definition. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines "infused" as:
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Main Entry: in·fuse
Pronunciation: \in-ˈfyüz\
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): in·fused; in·fus·ing
Etymology: Middle English, to pour in, from Middle French & Latin; Middle French infuser, from Latin infusus, past participle of infundere to pour in, from in- + fundere to pour — more at found
Date: 1526
1 a : to cause to be permeated with something (as a principle or quality) that alters usually for the better b : introduce, insinuate
2 : inspire, animate
3 : to steep in liquid (as water) without boiling so as to extract the soluble constituents or principles
4 : to administer or inject by infusion
— in·fus·er noun
synonyms infuse, suffuse, imbue, ingrain, inoculate,
Leaven: means to introduce one thing into another so as to affect it throughout. It implies introducing something that enlivens, tempers, or markedly alters the total quality.
Infuse: implies a pouring in of something that gives new life or significance.
Suffuse: implies a spreading through of something that gives an unusual color or quality.
Imbue: implies the introduction of a quality that fills and permeates the whole being.
Ingrain: (used only in the passive or past participle) suggests the deep implanting of a quality or trait. Inoculate: implies an imbuing or implanting with a germinal idea and often suggests stealth or subtlety.
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(Emphasis above mine)

If you want to infuse water with a flavor, you put the item in the water, and let the flavor seep out into it. Is this not what we should desire from the presence of God? That He would infuse us - to place down deep inside us so the Spirit seeps through us -  with His Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit has come to dwell in us, to infuse us with Himself, that we would glorify God by becoming more Christ like.

Anyway... that's just a few of my thoughts... I don't really have a good conclusion.... it's late and I need to sleep. I have a long day tomorrow, and a long week ahead. Funny, I dreamed the other night that I would feel like I hadn't really rested this weekend by the time tomorrow evening came about... I feel like that's what it's going to be like tomorrow evening, but it's going to be so worth it.

Grace

What can I say? I find myself clicking "unfollow" and "unlike" a lot these days. Especially if someone posts something with vulgar language or even generally stupid material. I don't have need for that in my life. Maybe you take good photographs or are an amazingly good artist. But when I see things that offend my spirit I will continue to click "unfollow" and "unlike" on those profile pages.

I feel as if my media filter has become more fine as I continue with where my mind and heart has been after our women's retreat. It's like an oasis has been found in the desert. A more accurate term may be rediscovered. It's been there. I was just going in circles. Going through the motions. I feel reawakened to spiritual things that I've experienced before and yet this is different. It's as if the whole church body at NPCC has been awakened to the same thing, except it's going to go deeper. I am so excited for the things we are learning as a church body, and the spiritual growth that is happening. To take the phrase from the lesson during the college group Crossroads: The Journey Is The Destination. We are never fully there spiritually. We may be more mature than we used to be, but we've always got more to learn and experience!

Although I may not be quite sure my spiritual gifting, I do know another gifting god has given me. And that is being an artist. I wanted to share this piece, which is the one I've recently worked on. The clouds with the lightning represent life before Christ. The sun rays, blue sky, and fluffy white clouds represent the grace God bestowed on us in His Son, Jesus. Yeah, maybe it's a simple drawing in Sharpie. But it was an idea I needed to get out of my head since the word "grace" has been on my mind lately. I don't know what I'm going to do with the piece now that I've drawn it. I just keep thinking of what else I can draw next!

Well this has been a lengthy blog for me. I should go to bed since its already midnight-thirty...

Sitting here at my computer, trying to catch up on the week.  I finally got my email box cleaned out.  I could do that from my phone... almost... It only archives... for some reason it won't delete emails by swiping... Yes, I finally got a real phone. PtL! Even though the signal in my apt is kinda weak... Weak signal is better than no signal whatsoever.

Finally turned on some praise & worship music.  I've been sitting here for about 20 minutes in silence.  At least it wasn't an hour!

I am working on a new art piece.  It is simple.  And it isn't my usual line art.  I need a different design to make for my line art... Or a larger piece of media to draw on.... Yes, it would be a lot more tedious to color in something larger, but oh so much more satisfying.  I shall attempt to post a picture of my new piece when I finish it.  I don't know what I'm going to do with it when I get done with it.  I need a portfolio to put my work in... Or frames. Lol.

I think I should probably go to bed soon.  About an hour has passes since I actually started this post.  Just been distracted and looking at other stuff and listening to music.  Time for sleep.

Why is it when I think of something I want to look up I'm never able to get to a computer or anything fast enough to remember what I wanted to look up when I get there? I had something on my mind and as soon as I stepped out of the room *poof* it went away! Oh, well.

I was so blessed by the worship and the message at church today. And getting together with the women before church started to pray.

I have so much on my mind I want to write but don't have the words right now.

coffee

I really want to redesign my blog.  But I don't know what I want to do with it.  I just feel like I need something new and fresh.

I can't wait for church tomorrow.  My sis will be joining us, as she is in town for the weekend.  I just can't wait for the praise and worship, and for fellowshipping with other believers, and the message.  We've been learning so much about spiritual gifts.  We even had a lot of conversations last weekend during the retreat about spiritual gifts.  I love that we are discovering these ways to glorify God.

I love the atmosphere at church lately.  It's like we are truly beginning to walk in the way that's been prepared for us.  It's an atmosphere I felt at Bethel (College), but it had been absent for some time.  There's a sweetness to this rediscovery. 

I can't wait for later in September.  We are having a prayer day one Saturday.  Can. Not. Wait.  Almost as much as I couldn't wait for the retreat.  I know there's so much more to learn and encounter spiritually.

I'm also excited for our new church building.  I have been excited for the new building, but not like this.  It was exciting that we would have a place to call our own, instead of a remodeled glass store.  But I've been asked to be part of the creative team to help with decorating and whatnot.  I can't wait.  I long to be creative, and have a place to be creative.  Yes, making sure we have the acoustic panels covered in fabrics that match the color scheme of the sanctuary makes me happy!  It's the little things in life, right?

Anyway, the night is getting away from me.  Soon it will be morning, and I will be groggy during Bible study if I don't get to bed and get some sleep!  Will definitely need coffee in the morning!

Retreat

As I come back from the retreat, just barely starting to do laundry, and just processing everything... I am feeling like I want to stay off the grid a while.  I want to stay in this presence of the Father, and not be sitting in front of this shiny screen to type, however I wanted to get my thoughts out on "paper" before they left me, as they so swiftly do. 

I had a good time getting to know the ladies from our women's group.  It was refreshing.  The takeaways from this weekend are going to have to process for me.  I'm not one to know right away what my takeaway will be.  I just don't process things that quickly.  I just pray that the things I learned this weekend will stick with me, and I will be able to continue with them.

I may be lacking in sleep because I wasn't in my own bed for two nights, and the workweek before was slightly hectic.  But I feel spiritually refreshed.  This was a long time coming, and it was such a blessed weekend.  It's like a flavor note.... it finished with a sweet one for me.  Church service this morning was refreshing as well.  A good finish to the retreat, although not directly a part of it (although it was a God-part of it).

I didn't really talk a whole lot.  I mostly listened to other conversations and tried to learn more about other people.  Things have to be drawn out of me.  Talking with people is difficult, as I'm not real big on small talk and whatnot.

I re-learned a lot of truths this weekend.  Things I've walked in before, but have not for a while.  It was refreshing.  I know I keep using that word, but it was. 

Strange but vivid dream

Sometime last week, right before I woke up in the morning, I had a strange dream.  This is not uncommon.  Sometimes I remember the dream, sometimes I don't.  That morning I remembered this dream:

It was like I was looking at a comic book online or maybe scrolling down my Facebook feed.  I saw a picture that had been posted.  I don't remember who posted it.  But it was in the comic style with one rectangular scene above a second one.  In the top picture was what looked like a boxing ring.  Outside the ring was a crowd of people, all dressed in nice clothing, fancy dresses for the women, and suits/tuxes for the men. This was the scene of a well to do group of people.  In the middle of the boxing ring was a pastor, and a bride.  The bride was standing there, in a beautiful white dress, veil over her face, waiting on her groom to arrive, as he had been delayed. (Why they went ahead with the ceremony up to that point I'm not quite sure, but maybe for the illustration...) The scene, although drawn, was somewhat real and was moving like a video as well, like one of those cut-scenes in a movie where they zoom in on a photo or drawing and it comes to life.  In this cut-scene the groom ran in, pants wrinkled, barefoot, tuzedo jacket and shirt gone, only wearing a silvery-white vest.  He looked as if he had been mugged.  The crowd gasped, as they covered their mouths with their hands, wide-eyed and shocked at the situation of the groom.  The well meaning pastor asked if he was ok, and what had happened.  The groom said something, that I can't remember clearly, but it was something like a man had come up to him, and asked him for his coat, in a very impolite manner.  The pastor asked something about whether he wanted to call the cops and have the man hunted down.  The young groom then said, in all innocence something about not needing to do that, but he had given him the coat, and his shirt.  (For some reason the guy didn't want the vest? Still not sure why he had the vest on)  He mentioned the Scripture about it: Matthew 5:40 - "And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well."  At this the crowd reached for their handkerchiefs to wipe the tears from their eyes at the innocence and obedience of the groom.  The pastor stood there, amazed at the young man.  The bride laughed a short, slightly anxious laugh, happy that her groom had made it to the wedding, as they fell into each others arms in a grateful embrace.  The picture zoomed out again, back to the page, the pictures contrasting one another: the first of an almost outrage at what had happened, the second of complete joy of the innocence and obedience.


And then I woke up.