Sunday, February 22, 2009

dream ramblings... deep thoghts... and some tech ramblings...

I had a dream last night where I was with some people I know, and we were in a room that I had seen before in a dream (many of my locations are repeated often) and we were talking and sitting at a table. Someone took something that I had in front of me, and I got upset, because there were not very many of them, and I think I had other things on my mind, that sort of made it one of those "last straw" situations or something. I'm not sure why or anything, that's just the direction the dream went. I don't think I'm at that kind of point right now at all. Anyway, I ran off to this place in the building where I was trying to lock the doors behind me, but ended up in a room that was adjacent to the room with the other people in it. I then tried to lock this elaborate door system between the rooms. It was like a scene from a suspense movie, but after fumbling with the locks and stuff, I got them to latch together properly, and then was somewhat emotional. Then one of the people who had I think been out with the others, came in behind the wall, through a different door somehow. No one else really wanted to come back there, I guess. I heard them asking each other if this person would be able to talk to me. And the girl that came back there signed to me in ASL, because she knew it was important that we talk and not be overheard, since the wall could not be seen through but could be heard through. And she said "You don't have to control the situation." YOU NOT-NEED CONTROL SITUATION. I did not respond because I woke up. But I felt like it was God telling me not to worry, or invest my time in things I could not control, but wanted to. And also, not to get upset with things minor, or that don't really matter in the long run.

I also had another dream where I was in the dream version of Griffin that I have in my head, I don't know how or why it looks like it does, but it's sort of a mix between what I know of Griffin, and what it might look like in a video game. Why I turned Griffin into a video game world in my head, I don't know. But anyway, I was in a yard somewhere, and wondered where my sister Mary went. It was summer time, and I had been hanging out with the youth from a church (i think some of them were from where I'm at now, but some weren't, they were just there from somewhere...). I later found out that she was waiting patiently to ambush some of the kids with a Super Soaker. Once I got to talk with her later I asked if we could have a Super Soaker truce between us so we would agree not to soak each other, but to go after the neighborhood kids.

Yeah, random and strange. Not sure what that last dream was about.

Anyway... my computer should be in tomorrow. I need to clean my room so I can do the unboxing video in here. I am trying to figure out when I should pick it up from the mailroom. Coz I'm not sure that I can get it before I go in to work, so maybe if I don't have many work orders I can talk my boss into letting me go get it, since everyone at work wants to see it too. Maybe then I could use the real camcorder to take my video... I do need to clean up my desk, and my room in general. Health checks are happening this week, and my room is a disaster area. It's been bothering me lately, but I've not had that much time to actually work on it. And my desk... well, I'm somewhat like my brother was when he was still living at home... he apparently always had every glass from the kitchen in his room from when he used them... my desk is the same way... I have all kinds of glasses and bottles and take out cups on it... I don't know why I can't just take them over to the trash or out to the recycling in the hall, or to the sink in the kitchen. Oh well... It's something I'm working on. I hope to have a video up by tomorrow night or Tuesday once I get my computer all up and running and get stuff installed that I want to get installed. I still need to purchace Office for it. Hopefully I can get over to the bookstore and do that before I go home for break. It would be helpful for getting things done over break. I'm excited that I am going to have a standalone version of Photoshop so I can work on pictures... that came with my computer. Definitely cool. I've been looking forward to tomorrow all weekend... I still need to work on my theology paper this evening. I took a two or three hour nap earlier, though, and have a cola right now. So I will probably be up for a while anyway...

Saturday, February 21, 2009

A long day

I feel like I haven't spoken to anyone in days. Not a really good conversation anyway. I did Thursday night with Sara. Friday was not very social. I didn't feel very good for most of the day. And today I was stuck in class all day. I kind of really wanted to hang out with people this evening, but I didn't find anyone to hang out with. I went to SG to grab dinner and came back to my room and watched a movie. Then I played my djembe here in the room, with a blanket stuck in the end so it wouldn't be loud and bother other people. That kind of helped some. Looking forward to church tomorrow, just to be in His presence. Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to have to write a paper for Monday's Bib. Theo. class. Ugh. That class is eating my lunch. At least I think that's the proper use of the phrase...

Anyway... I'm off to bed because of the long day in class today... and we even got out an hour early because the speaker wanted to go to the basketball game! I don't know if we won or not. It was a good class, but they are always so long. By the end I was so antsy to get out of the room. I tried to take a nap, but couldn't. Probably too much caffeine anyway. I got a chai this evening, so not as much caffeine as a coffee... or it just doesn't affect me in that way from chai as coffee does. I'm tired now, and no one is on AIM or anything, so I'm just going to go to bed. I'm going to try to make it to Crossroads in the morning. I haven't been for a long time...

Goodnight all...

Sunday, February 15, 2009

So many things on my mind right now. Of course isn't that normal for my blog posts?

I am pretty stoked about the computer that I ordered from Dell on Friday... but I have to wait until it gets here... which I am not too enthusiastic about waiting, but what can you do?

I have a bunch of homework to do tonight... reading stuff then writing about it mostly. I am going to hole up in the computer lab tomorrow night and work on my paper for Senior Sem as it is due on Thursday, but I can still work on it after that, the paper just has to be good enough for a passing grade to be put on the books. Then I can work on it more after that if necessary...

I keep getting so distracted...

And, yes, I am going to go all tech/geek when I get my computer and do an unboxing video from my camera (without sound though, because I don't have a mic on my camera, but I might put music to it), and I will then upload it somehow for ya'll to see who read my blog. I need to get a copy of Office from the campus bookstore soon so I can get that installed when I get my new compy. At least that will end the having to type things on Google Docs and then copy/paste them into Word and do all the formatting there. Finally. After over four years of having to find some other way to get my papers written. And I will be able to open documents and stuff... Do you have any idea how good it will be to finally be able to write papers on my own computer? Or open things without having to wait until I can get to the computer lab? Or be able to have a couple of "extra" programs on my computer, like Google Earth and a Twitter app? Or being able to Skype with friends and family with the built in mic and webcam? OK, OK, I'll stop... but for me... getting a new computer is very very exciting...

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Thinking about dreams and dreaming of things, more daydreaming of things... Needing to get homework done... at some point. I still have things that I'm working on to get in to prof's this week. Ugh. Feeling like Relient K right now... missing the sun... although we've had some sun and very warm 60 degree weather. It's been nice, but it's about to get cold again. I'm still in hibernation mode. Working on that. Been out of that mode for over the weekend and now I'm back in it. During the week I get run ragged from my classes and work schedule, and homework and youth group... which I will be doing more of the next couple of months prior to graduating. Just went to talk with Casey today about stuff for the semester. Gotta take stuff in to my prof for the class tomorrow. I don't like Monday's and Wednesday's... mostly because everything is so spread out that I only have about an hour between things and that's not time enough for me to get things done at the pace I normally function at when reading/writing a paper. And days like today, by the time I get off work, and run errands like I did today, I'm wiped out by dinner time. And I'm still up, why? I don't even know.

This is getting long and rambly. I could make a point to myself about some things right now... but will save it for later. Or not at all. I just keep thinking about things I want to do, when I should probably be focusing on the here and now... and blah, blah, blah...

Anyway... I really am just rambling now... and I should probably go to bed as this is probably not making sense to anyone, and I'm tired and am going to have a very long day tomorrow... Worrying is not good, but I do it anyway... I think I'd rather just dream instead of worry... alrighty... off to bed...

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I'm off to bed here in a bit. Today has been intense. Yesterday was also intense. The time of year (with mostly no sunshine) has gotten to me. Stress has gotten to me. Lack of spending time with God has gotten to me. Class work has gotten to me. Thoughts of the future after graduation has gotten to me.

Needless to say I need some spiritual and relational refreshing right now.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Dreams...

In the nighttime sense...

I keep having strange dreams. Well, all my dreams are usually strange, aside from the couple or three really intense ones I had freshman year and haven't had similar ones since... But I keep dreaming the same places on various nights. I just know that the places are familiar.

Mostly these familiar places I have been to are somewhat similar to places I have actually been, while others are just something I have only seen in my mind. I tend to dream about places with stairs, usually trying to get down the stairs, but sometimes trying to go up. And they are not normal stairs. The dream I had last night was one of those dreams.

I don't remember many details, except that I was in some building, one I had been in before in a dream, I think, and it had really strange architecture. It had some large windows and some "modern" looking stairs and other things. And when I say "modern" it's more like the stairs were different pieces of wood or something, covered in carpet, and were suspended, sort of like some demented playground. And to descend, from quite a height mind you, you had to gingerly step from one of the edges of a long board down to the other. They moved a bit, too, which increased my vertigo in the dream. Some guy, a tall black guy, maybe British, that was dressed in a sort of fashion/art sort of style, was helping me down this odd staircase. Then I got to one step that I could not get down from. For some reason the whole thing sort of spun or swung or something just enough to throw me somewhat off balance. Someone was on a platform to my right and stuck out their hand and pushed against me. At first to hold me up, and then it almost seemed as if they were trying to push me against something to my left, a pole or the wire or something the step was attached to. I yelled at the person to let go and stop pushing me, and I think that's where the dream ended...

I always seem to find myself in some kind of staircase or something, like one dream I had with some sort of attic in this really large, slightly creepy and elaborate house. Most of the passage ways through the house had some stair case or something. One was like really large wooden platforms suspended in the air, but solid so you could jump up on one or down from them to another. Anyway, I climbed around in those and just could not get anywhere that I wanted to go.

Also, in last nights dreams I had one that did not have to do with stairs but had to do with another recurring theme I have in my dreams. I'm not sure if I was knocked down or was trying to get up out of something, but I was coming out of a building, kind of crawling as if to get to safety from something, and I crawled out on this sandy place, with a wall to my right and a jeep to my left. It started raining, and the water splashed down on the sand and beaded up on it. For whatever reason I could not stand up for anything. Many of my dreams are like that. I am trying to get somewhere and can't, either because I can't get up the stairs to it, or I can't stand up from somewhere.

I'm not quite sure what to make of these dreams.

Dreams keep popping up. While typing this one of my roommates mentioned a dream they had last night. My sister has mentioned her odd dreams to me lately. A random guy at SG mentioned his, that I talked about in a previous post with the black hole thing. And someone on Twitter that I follow mentioned having strange dreams...

And off the dreams topic, but the topic of things coming up more than once, I had a really good conversation with Holly this morning, as she called me from S.K. And then at church some of the things that she had said were reverberated in the message.

I'm still trying to figure out what is the meaning of all this repetition.