Done

My trial run at Computers Plus has ended. And so has my prospect for work there. Apparently I was too slow for them, did not know enough of the terminology of things (though I do know what things are and the difference between them I do lack the jargon for many things), and being blunt when asking for the tape. I'm not sure why my asking bluntly for the tape, which the one tech liked to keep at his end of the bench "rubbed the manager the wrong way" but it did. But might I also mention it was at the end of the day when everyone else was being short with me all day, and I was annoyed with it. So they let me go because I bluntly asked for the tape. And yet that other tech that they have kept on for the last year and a half cusses up a storm, calls customers "M*F*Idiots", complains about the CEO of the company, and sounds like he's annoyed (which he is) at every customer he talks to.

Needless to say, I am bummed that I'm going to be back out looking for a job again. But that place was not the most healthy work environment around. It provided enough money for me to afford the gas for my car to get back and forth to E-ville to look for a job again. I'm still not sure what I'm to do about the loan companies on my back. That is so stressful it's not funny.

When I walked out of the store this morning after being told they decided that I was not experienced enough for them (which makes me wonder how in the world someone at entry level is supposed to get experience) I went out to my car, obviously crying, and got in and started my car. I always have K-LOVE playing on the radio, and when my radio came on the one song that keeps following me when things like this happen... (which seem to happen far too often, like getting the short end of the stick too many times [story of my life])..... "Blessed Be Your Name" by Tree 63 was on. I cried more. Anyway... I'm back to looking for a job. I really wish that something would work out and I could find a place where I can work. Seriously, what's my problem with this?

So i finally have a job....

Currently I'm working at a computer shop in Evansville as a technician. I am in a trial period right now which means that I have a couple weeks before they decide whether or not they want to keep me. It seems they have a high turn over rate of technicians. I am just praying that I learn things fast enough that they will want to keep me around a while.

I was asked my first day if I was a cynic. I said I can be sometimes. I was told it wasn't a trick question, but that if I wasn't already a cynic I would be from working there.

Everyone there knows that I am a Christian. I was talking with one of my co-workers and I mentioned that I'd gone to school for youth ministry. My other co-workers were then told to lighten up on the cursing because I am a Christian. It bothers me some that they curse, but I'm used to it mostly. It comes with the territory in a secular world when working with computers. I just wish they would not take the Lord's name in vain, which tends to happen pretty regularly.

All in all I think they're a good bunch of people, even if mostly cynical from being in the business of trying to satisfy people and make them happy. It's really hard to satisfy people. Especially when dealing with their computers.

Anyway.... pray that things go well for me there. I'd like to keep working on computers for a while. Even if I don't really have much vision for the long term right now... computers are a good fall back. I'm still learning a lot. Even with what I know, I've known that I need to know more. That always gets me. I always need to know more...

Aside from that, I stayed home today because when I got up this morning the roads didn't look so good for traveling on half an hour into town. Being home, I was here to receive another call from Chase Bank. They are really getting on my nerves. I applied for forbearance. They told me today that it was denied because I have no way of paying off my loan. Ummm yeah, that is why I was applying for the forbearance. Well they expect students to have a job 6 months after graduating. Have they even seen the economy? People who have experience can't even get jobs right now. I ask if I get a job if they will take money out of my paycheck. The guy asks if I mean my boss will take money from my paycheck. Obviously not listening to what I was saying. He never did answer my question. I just don't understand why they want a person to have a job before they allow them time to get a job or anything. He told me that they can't let a person have that time of forbearance because they don't want to pay off their loan. I told him if I had had a job in the last 6 months I'd already be paying off my loan. He said some mumbo jumbo about Chase bank looking out for the financial security of its customers. I told him to keep on lying to himself coz that's what he's doing. I don't know about the people who work there at Chase but on the phone with their spiels they give they sound like complete morons. Repeating the same garbage over and over again and not even listening when I tell them I have not had the resources to pay them back. My mom said it right this evening: It's like selling your soul to the devil. JP Morgan Chase Bank is a minion of darkness. I think I would have an easier time getting an extension from the mob than I am trying to get one with Chase. It's so frustrating. I'm frustrated. Frustrated, angry, at a loss of what to do. If I report to them that I have any kind of income what are they going to do? Are they going to scalp my paycheck every time? I was asked by the guy today if I'd done my taxes yet, because that would "free up hundreds of dollars". I informed him that it would not free up hundreds of dollars since I barely made $1,500 last year as a whole. They don't care about a person. Not about their financial situations. Not about the mental stress they are putting on the person. Or about how the person is able to deal with the mental stress. It's driving me insane.

Anyway... I need to go to bed. Gonna get up a little earlier and try to be on the road early in case the melting snow from the salt on the road has turned to ice. The temps dropped and the winds picked up, so the salt is useless now. Pray for my morning commute. I didn't go in today because of road conditions. I hope they're not worse in the morning. That would stink horribly.

typical rambling while feeling frustrated and negative... blah.

meh. I don't like all these negative posts but negative is the way I've been feeling. I'm sitting up hoping that when I go to sleep I'm not woke up by the phone ringing in the morning to find Chase bank calling and harassing me about my past due balance on my loan. What I'd like to say to Chase: "Yes, I know it's past due. No I don't have the money to pay you. No, I can't borrow it from someone else. What? You want me to go into more debt with someone else just to pay you? Oh, you just want me not in debt to you, you don't care who else I'm in debt to?...." I don't know. That's basically the conversation I've been having. I can't think of any way to be nice. Angry. Frustrated. Peeved.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of them. Talk about anxiety. I can't do anything about this situation right now. Even if I got a job two weeks ago it wouldn't help with any of this. They act like they're surprised when I tell them I haven't been able to pay them because I haven't gotten a job yet. Then the lady today goes and tells me to get a job at McDonald's or BK and I told her I tried, and the person who interviewed me at McD's saw that I'd worked with computers and decided I was overqualified to work there. They don't understand that if I'd had a job in the 6 months since their "grace period" started that I'd have been paying them. Maybe I just don't get it. Maybe I'm the stupid one. But I've been trying like crazy to get a job so I don't have to deal with all this crap and can have some peace.

Anyway, I went to a job interview today. I'm praying that I get it coz it's basically what I want to do right now, work on computers. It would be a great environment too. It sounded really positive. So please pray that it works out. I could really use something that works out for once...