Thursday, November 4, 2010

Flipped gravity = Weird dreams

My dad said something the other day about some news report claiming that the earth is slowly turning on it's head/gravity is switching from the north pole to the south or something like that. Anyway, I was sleeping this morning and had a super strange dream.

I was in an old house first. I was with my family, the usual ones I think who gather here on Thanksgiving I guess. And in one room, as I was wandering through this house that had more than one level and some split levels, I saw the cat water dishes. And they began to move on their own, both going a certain direction. There were two dishes and both began sliding across the floor as it they had a purpose, then they stopped. I think we moved them back to their original sports (my mom was in the room too), and then after a while (during the afternoon) they moved again. It was getting a little weird.

Then I was in another room, I don't know if it was a different room of that house, or a hotel room or something, but it was a fairly fancy room with fluffy comforter and pillows on the bed and some sort of gaudy tropical decor. And there were more cat watering dishes there. So those dishes began moving. There were cats in the dream too, and they just looked kind of questioningly at the dishes, but apparently didn't think too much of it. At least the cats weren't flying. Then I began thinking in my dream about the switched gravity report my dad had read. I heard something come on the radio about it. Then I began to feel weightless, and started to drift off the bed. I moved around a bit in the air, and floated in one direction, then another, then was plopped back down on the bed from a couple of feet up from it. It was quite exhilarating to finally "fly" in a dream. I then went on to a different dream...

The next dream had me in a camper trailer trying to look at something on a device, and being in the back behind the driver seats, and somehow there were flaps of fabric or the headliner had come down an I had to keep raising it up and looking past it to try and see out the front window. Then I realized there was no driver and I was going down a mountainside in Tennessee. I made my way under the fabric and into the passenger seat and tried to reach the brakes and steering wheel, but I ended up barreling right towards a small pond. I was able to grab a very expensive camera that was in the RV and jump out the window as it went into the water. I grabbed on to something and then was scolded for losing the RV. Then I felt bad. But I got over it soon as I moved on to another dream.

In this one I was with my parents at this large outdoor festival thing. Which is weird because they wouldn't have gone to something like that. But it was something for a weird group I didn't know much about or anything, and didn't really like that much. So I'm not sure why we were there. And then we made our way inside a tent that had refrigerators in it and I was looking for something to drink, because my throat was really dry. So I kept looking and only finding one thing which wasn't something I wanted, so I'm not sure what was going on there.

Then I woke up.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Persimmon Fudge

Mom made Persimmon Fudge yesterday. Here are some pics.

What it looked like before it had cooked all the way

This is getting close to being done

Done and mixing the butter in

Finishing stirring

Finished. It tastes great! Don't need much though! It's sweet!!!
Replacing Emoji...

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Because I want to post my art

I was watching T.V. the other night and saw the Walgreen's commercial for this year's flu shot campaign. It shows a woman getting a flu shot and going to the office where the people are Neanderthals and do the grossest things possible that share germs with one another (which is sad that that is probably all true to life in most places... ? people are gross), and the woman was all happy that she had gotten her flu shot.

And because I had already thought of doing a drawing with a hazmat suit in it, I decided to make this drawing. Because if you don't get a flu shot, you should probably be wearing one. Or maybe you are wearing one so you don't have to get a flu shot. But I thought it was funny, so I drew it. There you go. A peek into my train of thought. I hope you enjoy the drawing.

I hope people have liked the art I've been posting. Let me know what you think. Do you like it? Is it funny? Maybe you shouldn't answer those questions.... lol. I hope that what makes me laugh will also make you laugh.

I usually think of these random things that make me laugh or something, like
Zombies Glitter Too - My response to Twilight
Mouse Working Out on Mousetrap - Isn't it ironic? Dont'cha think?
Walking the Wok - Because things mis-said lead to funny pictures in my head
IRL Play-Doh! - My non-drawing, a.k.a. photo, imitation of a drawing by a really talented artist
And now this response to thinking about the Walgreen's flu shot commercial.

Yeah, it's only like 5 things so far. But I'm hoping to keep this up. I just need more random ideas to pop into my head o.O
Replacing Emoji...

Saturday, August 28, 2010


Why? You might ask.

Because I received a great honor. Artist Sam Spratt, who has been doing illustrations for Gizmodo this week, complimented my in real life (IRL) adaptation of one of his works.

I had been browsing Gixmodo on Thursday, as I usually do, to read the latest tech news there. They are currently running a series about inventions. One of those was about the accidental inventions that people have made.

The original artwork is at the top of the page.

I was rummaging through some of my things yesterday, looking for a pen that I have placed somewhere, which still remains a mystery to me, and I found a little 1oz tub of Play-Doh. I opened it up, and it was orange. Perfect! I recalled the illustration on the Gizmodo article, and grabbed my camera and a sheet of drawing paper for the background, posed my little orange blob of Play-Doh and took the pictures, trying to get them as close to the illustration as possible. I was using a LED headlamp and my camera flash for the lighting. It was not optimal, but it worked out OK.

After uploading the pictures to my computer and using Photoshop Elements to edit them, roughly, into a quadtych (hm? four pics in one?) like the original, I came out with this:

I then posted the link on Sam's Facebook page. He both "liked" my post, and complimented me, saying that the picture is "brilliant" and he would like to link it in the next batch of his work on Gizmodo!

Needless to say, I hope you can understand why I am giddy!! :) That is such a huge compliment to my work because this was more one of those, "Hey, that's super cute. I wonder if I can make the illustration come to life IRL," quickie idea.

This has definitely made my day! :)

Original article
Info page

Monday, August 16, 2010

Bees. I don't like bees.

OK, I'm gonna write this before I forget it.

I was sleeping this morning, and had a strange dream right before I woke up. I was in this place, it was like a college campus, and looked similar to Bethel but had aspects of it that were different and abstracted and stuff. I was on the computer tech team as I was at Bethel, and was going to work on an office computer in the "admin" building (though it wasn't the bethel admin building it was similar in style sort of and really not) but we were in the office of someone on maintenance or something. The guy whose computer we were working on was living in the office so it was more like a house that someone lived in. And we were in the front room of the building which was the main office and were at a computer talking and stuff. I was with another girl and a guy who was older and was our supervisor. We were all working on the computer and throwing around ideas and just generally talking. The supervisor guy left or something, I don't remember. But then we were all gone and apparently we left something so I went back to get it, and went into the kitchen of the building to look for it. And the guy who lived there came in and was like "what are you doing? you shouldn't be in here, etc" So I was trying to explain and then decided to book it out of the house, and the guy had a teenage son, and I ran past him and out the front door, and the porch, which had like those round slender posts on the corners, and the porch itself wasn't very tall, maybe a foot or so tall. And on the post to the left of me, where I was heading, was a bunch of these bees that looked like mutated large yellow jackets. They were kind of a mix in look between a cornbee/hoverfly and a yellow jacket and then cartooned/mutated into something larget. And they were swarming around on the post and one flew at me and I started to run and then I woke up, and was sort of like I woke startled, and I turned to lay on my back but I felt like I couldn't breathe so I just got up.

And then I went to go put some books back in the storage shed, in real life, just a few minutes ago. And I saw one wasp flying around the building up to the top. Then I looked to my left where it had come from. And there on the side wall close to the front side of the building was a wasp nest where wasps were coming out. I had to spray it down with WD-40. Had wasps flying around trying to get away from it. One came at me and I ran back, and shook my head to keep it away from my face. Ended up flinging my glasses to the ground but they don't stay on my face well anyway (which I absolutely *hate* about these glasses. not sure why i picked them two years [or more?] ago in the first place.) And then it occurred to me a little bit ago, oh yeah I had a dream about a swarm of bees this morning. Great. Any now I'm like super shaky. I hate dealing with bees. Or bugs in general. I dislike dealing with bugs in general. They're ok as long as I don't have to do anything with them. If they are dangerous, I seriously hate dealing with them.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

I can't think of a creative title

No, Blogger, I do not want to see your preview of the new preview. I want to type. I think. It's late and I'm probably not thinking. At least it's late to my head.

Was trying to look up some stuff in reference to things talked about at the women's Bible study I went to at the church I've been going to since last week. Just went to the Bible study tonight. It was good. It's nice to have people to *study* the Word with. Reminds me of the Bible studies we had in college. Or some of the discussions at college in the classrooms. Anyway, I wanted to look some things up regarding some local happenings. So I was researching some stuff and putting it together in a Word document. That felt like homework.

Nothing much else to say right now. I'm going to bed here in a bit.

I was going to try to solder some infrared LEDs into an array to use with my camera. I got the LEDs back in college sometime and had been holding on to them. I got some of the things to make the array but then forgot about it and finally got a battery hook up and battery the other day. I was testing it out and burned out one of my 10 LED's, so I only have 9 (yeah, do you like my math skillz? lol I have no idea why I had to write that all out.) Anyway, I am not sure if I can run the 9 properly since I can't run them in parallel now. I think they are only supposed to be run parallel. Correct me if I'm wrong. [I'm talking to you-whoever-you-are visitor from Carnegie Mellon University :how did someone from there even find my blog:? serious question. thank  you Google Analytics for making me paranoid.] Anyway, I will hopefully get this stuff together and take some pics in total darkness. It will hopefully be pretty cool.

Anyway... I'm still looking for a job. Local papers/websites not bringing up anything. Would almost like to start doing my little 3x5 art pieces on commission. I haven't had any funny/cute ideas lately to draw. I think I posted what I've done on Facebook. My first one was the glittering zombies (a poke at the Twilight vampires that sparkle), then I drew a mouse working out using the mousetrap bar as a bench press, and a giraffe for my sister. I need to find my jump drive and go print those out or something. The giraffe for sure so I can send it to my sis. I don't know how they'll look printed. I can't tell what the dimensions are on them from how Photoshop tells info. Photoshop is fun. Frustrating. But fun. I just wish I had a Bamboo tablet or something to draw on with a pen. That will come in time. Drawing with a mouse is a pain in the carpal bones. Drawing a mouse with a mouse is a pain in the carpal bones. hehe. Well, the phalanges too. *Dancing phalanges!* At least the fingers on my right hand don't feel much like dancing after spending hours on Photoshop.

OK, I'm getting really random and incoherent now, and if you've made it to this part of the post and you actually *understood* anything I said, I commend you. Because I barely made it through that post.

Goodnight world.

Thursday, July 1, 2010


Random idea popped into my head last night while watching YouTube celeb Charles Trippy on his vlog. He was at a costume shop getting make-up for a video he was going to do. Well, one of the people at the shop showed him some glitter they had. Well, "glitter" in my mind = Twilight vampire, because the vampires in the books/movies sparkle in the sunlight. Why? That's beyond my reasoning. But then I got to thinking... why hasn't anyone written anything about *zombies* that sparkle? So, I pulled out a 3x5" card and started drawing. The picture below is what I came up with.

So then I uploaded the picture and opened up Photoshop. From there I did the coloring, and then traced all the lines and made the image below, which has no part of the original picture/drawing in it. But there below is the finished product. A glittery zombie.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Sure About It (Hanson)

I'm definitely sure,
That I'm not sure.

Sittin' on the corner of Nowhere Road.
Just between "I wish I could" and "I don't know".
Rain is splashing up between her toes
She doesn't know her own area code
She's the picture of a heart of gold.
On the edge of depression unknown.
And the picture of the wrong I wrote.
Now it's too late for a fight or fold.
Now she's lookin' at me to know.
My faucets runnin
And my car got towed.

I'm sure about it.
I'm definitely sure
That I do surely doubt it
I wish that I could say
That I was sure about it.
I'm definitely sure, that I'm not sure.

Did you see the man with the cocaine load?
It's on sale for the price of your soul
And the man with a long trench coat
Wish I could hide in a big black hole.
Sell you all your pain ten fold.
And you're crawling down a long, wrong road.
Fitted for the box they mold
All you're missing is a heart they stole.
They're lookin' at me to know.
My heart is pumpin' and my feet got cold.

I'm sure about it.
I'm definitely sure,
That I do surely doubt it
I wish that I could say
That I was sure about it.
But I'm definitely sure,
That I'm not sure.
I'm definitely sure,
That I'm not
I'm sure that I'm not
Two, Three, Four

Cause I'm sure about it
I'm definitely sure that
I do surely doubt it
I wish that I could say that I was sure about it
But I'm definitely sure that I'm not sure
I wish that I could say that I was sure
But I'm definitely sure that I'm not sure

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Workin' at a Bar

My brother Guy has just opened up a bar & grill called Two Whelan's Bar & Grill, with his wife Dot. My parents and I came up for the grand opening on Wednesday, St. Patty's Day (because we love our Irish roots and what better day for the grand opening of a bar!) Anyway, Guy is going back to work at his job in Evansville on Monday. So Dad asked them if they would want me to come help them at the bar, since I haven't been able to find something admin/clerical or anything. They were pretty excited. Especially Dot! Because otherwise she would be here by herself through the week. And that would pretty much stink. It has been pretty busy even though they've not advertised at all, only by word of mouth.

So I drove up yesterday morning and started working on the grill/fryer and whatever else. It's a lot to learn, and the timing with all the burgers and fried items is difficult to get correct right now (it's a learn as you go process for all of us). Guy did say that I was catching on pretty quickly with the grill. I even mixed a couple of drinks for a few people. Tried my hand at pouring beer from the tap, too. I'll probably be getting my liquor license sometime soon too.

It's definitely going to be a hard job. With being on my feet all day and going back and forth from one end of the building to the other, frying/grilling, keeping up with all the orders and everything.

I think it will be rewarding though. I will be able to spend time with Guy and Dot. They are graciously allowing me to stay in their apartment with them. I am so thankful for this. That also means I'll be able to help them out with the remodeling of the apartment once we all get in the flow of things. They have been overwhelmed with all that it takes to run the bar so there hasn't been a lot of time for working on the apartment. I think one other rewarding thing will be just meeting people and ministering to them, even if it's only being a kind person to them. Dot was telling us the other day that part of their mission with the bar is to minister to people. It's a good place for it!

I went to Wal-Mart in Owensboro, KY today. I didn't have much trouble finding it. I did miss my turn off at one point and tried to turn around, but ended up on a Parkway. Kind of like an Interstate. A long road, posted at 70 MPH, with very few exits. The next one was 25 miles away. No way was I going to do that. So I found a spot before one of the little bridges over a creek, and I waited for one where there was no one behind me, and no one coming, and I pulled a U-ey. It wasn't at one of the spots with the sign telling people it was not allowed. So.... yeah. Anyway, I got back on the road and hit the right exits that time and got to Wal-Mart. I found an area rug for cheaper than the ones they listed on their website, a 5'x7' for only $20. Also found a floor lamp for under $10. Both the lamp and the area rug are black. Just simple black. I didn't want a green or blue rug, and I think the lamps only came in black. I also got Glade Plug-In air freshener, and a couple of those Renuzit Odor Eliminator gel things, because the building is over 100 years old and smells like it. I like the scent of the Odor Eliminator things. I don't know what the scent is, but it's the one that says "odor eliminator" or something like that. Anyway, it's a spicy sort of scent that I remember from when I was a kid. So apparently those have been around a while. But I like them a lot. Strange, I know.

Anyway, I am probably going to find something else to do. Probably relax or something. Guy and Dot went to their other place to do laundry for the bar. Oh, the rug, it went partly under the air mattress and partly out, so the mattress doesn't squeak on the cardboard under it (since the floor is currently just pressboard), and so I can have a little something to land on in the morning to get up, instead of trying to get up without touching the pressboard, just coz it looks kinda blah and I don't want to touch it...

I should take a broom to the cobwebs up on the ceiling that are dangling precariously over my bed. Ugh! Not that my room at home was any better. I don't think they hung down as much at home. Unless you look at the ceiling from the low part to the high part. From my side it doesn't look bad at home. lol. All about perspective.

OK, I'm gonna find something to do that doesn't stress my back out. I used the thing Guy and Dot have to stretch your back out last night. It like turns you upside down and lets your body weight stretch your back out and readjust yourself as you relax while hanging upside down. I had such vertigo on it even when I wasn't going anywhere!! We couldn't get my height right for me to be able to raise my arms and let it go back like it's supposed to. So Guy had to tilt it over. I was kind of freaking out, since going backwards and upside down are two things I generally avoid doing. It did help though. Now I just need someone to punch me in the back on my left shoulder blade. That muscle back there has been hurting like crazy, I think from how I was laying last night. But I'm generally stiff. I did get some more ibuprofen since I left the bottle at home in the cabinet, like a dummy. Oh well. May not have to buy another bottle for a while if I can get that one after this one's gone. Could take a while. Maybe not though!!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Just Press Play ► Repeat.

This is how my life feels right now....

U2 - Stuck In a Moment You Can't Get Out Of

I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you. Ooh.
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
'Cause tears are going nowhere baby

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see

You are such a fool
To worry like you do.. Oh
I know it's tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don't really need now
My, oh my

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Oh love, look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Oh lord look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment
And you cant gt out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm 'til you discover how deep
I wasn't jumping, for me it was a fall
It's a long way down to nothing at all

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It's just a moment
This time will pass

Friday, March 12, 2010

Saturday, February 20, 2010


My trial run at Computers Plus has ended. And so has my prospect for work there. Apparently I was too slow for them, did not know enough of the terminology of things (though I do know what things are and the difference between them I do lack the jargon for many things), and being blunt when asking for the tape. I'm not sure why my asking bluntly for the tape, which the one tech liked to keep at his end of the bench "rubbed the manager the wrong way" but it did. But might I also mention it was at the end of the day when everyone else was being short with me all day, and I was annoyed with it. So they let me go because I bluntly asked for the tape. And yet that other tech that they have kept on for the last year and a half cusses up a storm, calls customers "M*F*Idiots", complains about the CEO of the company, and sounds like he's annoyed (which he is) at every customer he talks to.

Needless to say, I am bummed that I'm going to be back out looking for a job again. But that place was not the most healthy work environment around. It provided enough money for me to afford the gas for my car to get back and forth to E-ville to look for a job again. I'm still not sure what I'm to do about the loan companies on my back. That is so stressful it's not funny.

When I walked out of the store this morning after being told they decided that I was not experienced enough for them (which makes me wonder how in the world someone at entry level is supposed to get experience) I went out to my car, obviously crying, and got in and started my car. I always have K-LOVE playing on the radio, and when my radio came on the one song that keeps following me when things like this happen... (which seem to happen far too often, like getting the short end of the stick too many times [story of my life])..... "Blessed Be Your Name" by Tree 63 was on. I cried more. Anyway... I'm back to looking for a job. I really wish that something would work out and I could find a place where I can work. Seriously, what's my problem with this?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

So i finally have a job....

Currently I'm working at a computer shop in Evansville as a technician. I am in a trial period right now which means that I have a couple weeks before they decide whether or not they want to keep me. It seems they have a high turn over rate of technicians. I am just praying that I learn things fast enough that they will want to keep me around a while.

I was asked my first day if I was a cynic. I said I can be sometimes. I was told it wasn't a trick question, but that if I wasn't already a cynic I would be from working there.

Everyone there knows that I am a Christian. I was talking with one of my co-workers and I mentioned that I'd gone to school for youth ministry. My other co-workers were then told to lighten up on the cursing because I am a Christian. It bothers me some that they curse, but I'm used to it mostly. It comes with the territory in a secular world when working with computers. I just wish they would not take the Lord's name in vain, which tends to happen pretty regularly.

All in all I think they're a good bunch of people, even if mostly cynical from being in the business of trying to satisfy people and make them happy. It's really hard to satisfy people. Especially when dealing with their computers.

Anyway.... pray that things go well for me there. I'd like to keep working on computers for a while. Even if I don't really have much vision for the long term right now... computers are a good fall back. I'm still learning a lot. Even with what I know, I've known that I need to know more. That always gets me. I always need to know more...

Aside from that, I stayed home today because when I got up this morning the roads didn't look so good for traveling on half an hour into town. Being home, I was here to receive another call from Chase Bank. They are really getting on my nerves. I applied for forbearance. They told me today that it was denied because I have no way of paying off my loan. Ummm yeah, that is why I was applying for the forbearance. Well they expect students to have a job 6 months after graduating. Have they even seen the economy? People who have experience can't even get jobs right now. I ask if I get a job if they will take money out of my paycheck. The guy asks if I mean my boss will take money from my paycheck. Obviously not listening to what I was saying. He never did answer my question. I just don't understand why they want a person to have a job before they allow them time to get a job or anything. He told me that they can't let a person have that time of forbearance because they don't want to pay off their loan. I told him if I had had a job in the last 6 months I'd already be paying off my loan. He said some mumbo jumbo about Chase bank looking out for the financial security of its customers. I told him to keep on lying to himself coz that's what he's doing. I don't know about the people who work there at Chase but on the phone with their spiels they give they sound like complete morons. Repeating the same garbage over and over again and not even listening when I tell them I have not had the resources to pay them back. My mom said it right this evening: It's like selling your soul to the devil. JP Morgan Chase Bank is a minion of darkness. I think I would have an easier time getting an extension from the mob than I am trying to get one with Chase. It's so frustrating. I'm frustrated. Frustrated, angry, at a loss of what to do. If I report to them that I have any kind of income what are they going to do? Are they going to scalp my paycheck every time? I was asked by the guy today if I'd done my taxes yet, because that would "free up hundreds of dollars". I informed him that it would not free up hundreds of dollars since I barely made $1,500 last year as a whole. They don't care about a person. Not about their financial situations. Not about the mental stress they are putting on the person. Or about how the person is able to deal with the mental stress. It's driving me insane.

Anyway... I need to go to bed. Gonna get up a little earlier and try to be on the road early in case the melting snow from the salt on the road has turned to ice. The temps dropped and the winds picked up, so the salt is useless now. Pray for my morning commute. I didn't go in today because of road conditions. I hope they're not worse in the morning. That would stink horribly.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

typical rambling while feeling frustrated and negative... blah.

meh. I don't like all these negative posts but negative is the way I've been feeling. I'm sitting up hoping that when I go to sleep I'm not woke up by the phone ringing in the morning to find Chase bank calling and harassing me about my past due balance on my loan. What I'd like to say to Chase: "Yes, I know it's past due. No I don't have the money to pay you. No, I can't borrow it from someone else. What? You want me to go into more debt with someone else just to pay you? Oh, you just want me not in debt to you, you don't care who else I'm in debt to?...." I don't know. That's basically the conversation I've been having. I can't think of any way to be nice. Angry. Frustrated. Peeved.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of them. Talk about anxiety. I can't do anything about this situation right now. Even if I got a job two weeks ago it wouldn't help with any of this. They act like they're surprised when I tell them I haven't been able to pay them because I haven't gotten a job yet. Then the lady today goes and tells me to get a job at McDonald's or BK and I told her I tried, and the person who interviewed me at McD's saw that I'd worked with computers and decided I was overqualified to work there. They don't understand that if I'd had a job in the 6 months since their "grace period" started that I'd have been paying them. Maybe I just don't get it. Maybe I'm the stupid one. But I've been trying like crazy to get a job so I don't have to deal with all this crap and can have some peace.

Anyway, I went to a job interview today. I'm praying that I get it coz it's basically what I want to do right now, work on computers. It would be a great environment too. It sounded really positive. So please pray that it works out. I could really use something that works out for once...

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I read more blogs than I write. I don't really have many words right now. Still on the job hunt. Have been making the calls to put my loans into forbearance... whatever that means. It's funny how I kinda know a lot of stuff but have no clue what forbearance or deferment or anything related to these loans means. I also have no real desire to read very much on the terminology. I've called, I've got paperwork coming my way. It's kind of like riding a rollercoaster, for those who don't like them anyway, just hold on tight, tuck your head down, and wait for the ride to be over. Maybe if I got past the fear of being thrown off into oblivion it would be more fun or at least tolerable. Actually, I don't think loans or anything pertaining to them can be called pleasant or tolerable at all.

I've joined a book review site with the Thomas-Nelson publishing and am getting books to review. I get to choose a book, get it in the mail, read it, blog 200 words or more about it, and then pick another book. That's pretty exciting to me. Especially with not having a job right now, so that when I'm not scouring for places to apply at I can spend some time reading, which I have been very much avoiding? since college when I didn't have time to read for pleasure. I have Max Lucado's "Fearless" that I'm reading to review right now. The best part is I get to keep the books I pick out to review!

That is about the most exciting thing to happen lately. I had an interview last week, but have not heard anything since then. Not sure what to do about that. I feel fairly incompetent when it comes to the whole interview process stuff. I never feel very professional. I feel like I don't look professional, I'm not sure how to act professional. I have very limited resources which makes the mentality of the whole thing even more off kilter. It would be much easier if people didn't care what other people looked like, or if I didn't care so much what other people thought.

Anyway, it snowed here last night. That created black ice, which I can understand making driving somewhat hazardous. But by morning the schools and businesses were still delayed by at least one or two hours or had closed for the day. Coming back here from the South Bend area, it makes me question the sanity of those here. People don't know how to slow down or anything. But the half inch to 1 inch of snow we had was hardly enough to cover anything. Thus making it seem more like I am in a strange part of the country. I like snow. I don't enjoy having to drive in it, but it's possible to do so in more than one inch of snow. At Bethel one inch of snow was hardly something to blink at it seemed. And having snow all winter was quite enjoyable. Not the brownish greenish yucky blahness we have here. There's a magic to snow that winter here just doesn't have. I really am going to have to move to Sweden. Or maybe just north of here. I enjoy snow in winter too much.

Enough of my ramblings. It's getting late and I'm actually quite surprised I am still coherent enough to write.

*EDIT* For those that have asked, my blogging about the books will be right here on this blog, and also posted on a consumer review site of some sort. I will most likely use to post my reviews.

Friday, January 8, 2010


Verizon is after my Dad for my phone bill since I haven't been able to pay anything on it since the middle of the summer.

Student loans are past due. Two of them are planning on each taking $104 out of my bank account on the 10th, which I don't have but about $25 in both checking and savings together.

I still have not found a job. I keep looking. But I either don't know where to look or just simply fail at looking for work. I don't know where to go to look for a job, or where to find people who are hiring. It seems that after the last failed application/interview that everything dried up where I had been applying through the local newspaper's spot on Yahoo's Hot Jobs site. It seems every time I've gone to Evansville to look for places the jobs are already taken or I can't even locate the building, even after looking on Google Maps before I leave home, and taking directions with me.

Also on the student loan things, the two of them that I talked to on the phone said I couldn't defer my loans for reason of unemployment but would have to get them put in forbearance. What the hey. I thought from the descriptions of the unemployment deferment I didn't have to still be enrolled anywhere to get it.

I don't know.

I feel like everything is crashing in on me right now financially. I don't have a job. Can't seem to find a job. The economy is horrible. Student loans are backing up. Verizon is making my Dad mad at me coz he thought I took care of them a while back. I don't know what to say to them or anything. They don't care that I don't have a job and can't find one.

I'd like to tell the banks where I got my loans from to have their CEO's pay off my debt... seeing as they are part of the major cause of the current economic crisis in the first place.

And how do people even find job listing? I don't subscribe to a newspaper. The Yahoo Hot Jobs that lists the postings from the Courier Press paper is about the only thing I know of to check for local listings of jobs. Where else do people look? Seriously, I don't know where else to look to hunt down a job. No one is interested in someone looking for clerical work who can't type 40WPM. Which I can't do. Not when I'm trying to look at something and read it and type at the same time. It's about like interpreting ASL for me... I can't get the hearing part to go into sign and the sign part to go into voice properly. Same thing. My brain just is not capable of that kind of multi-tasking. If I'm working on a computer to fix it I'm usually ok. Or at least used to be. I tend to not even do well with fixing computers as much these days since I haven't done it in a few months... Blah.

If I could just get a job testing video games I'd be set. Not that I can pwn noobs like others can. I don't program. I'm not an engineer. So I doubt that will ever happen....

A receptionist job, or secretary or something along those lines would be great.... meh.