I read more blogs than I write. I don't really have many words right now. Still on the job hunt. Have been making the calls to put my loans into forbearance... whatever that means. It's funny how I kinda know a lot of stuff but have no clue what forbearance or deferment or anything related to these loans means. I also have no real desire to read very much on the terminology. I've called, I've got paperwork coming my way. It's kind of like riding a rollercoaster, for those who don't like them anyway, just hold on tight, tuck your head down, and wait for the ride to be over. Maybe if I got past the fear of being thrown off into oblivion it would be more fun or at least tolerable. Actually, I don't think loans or anything pertaining to them can be called pleasant or tolerable at all.

I've joined a book review site with the Thomas-Nelson publishing and am getting books to review. I get to choose a book, get it in the mail, read it, blog 200 words or more about it, and then pick another book. That's pretty exciting to me. Especially with not having a job right now, so that when I'm not scouring for places to apply at I can spend some time reading, which I have been very much avoiding? since college when I didn't have time to read for pleasure. I have Max Lucado's "Fearless" that I'm reading to review right now. The best part is I get to keep the books I pick out to review!

That is about the most exciting thing to happen lately. I had an interview last week, but have not heard anything since then. Not sure what to do about that. I feel fairly incompetent when it comes to the whole interview process stuff. I never feel very professional. I feel like I don't look professional, I'm not sure how to act professional. I have very limited resources which makes the mentality of the whole thing even more off kilter. It would be much easier if people didn't care what other people looked like, or if I didn't care so much what other people thought.

Anyway, it snowed here last night. That created black ice, which I can understand making driving somewhat hazardous. But by morning the schools and businesses were still delayed by at least one or two hours or had closed for the day. Coming back here from the South Bend area, it makes me question the sanity of those here. People don't know how to slow down or anything. But the half inch to 1 inch of snow we had was hardly enough to cover anything. Thus making it seem more like I am in a strange part of the country. I like snow. I don't enjoy having to drive in it, but it's possible to do so in more than one inch of snow. At Bethel one inch of snow was hardly something to blink at it seemed. And having snow all winter was quite enjoyable. Not the brownish greenish yucky blahness we have here. There's a magic to snow that winter here just doesn't have. I really am going to have to move to Sweden. Or maybe just north of here. I enjoy snow in winter too much.

Enough of my ramblings. It's getting late and I'm actually quite surprised I am still coherent enough to write.

*EDIT* For those that have asked, my blogging about the books will be right here on this blog, and also posted on a consumer review site of some sort. I will most likely use Amazon.com to post my reviews.

GAH!

Verizon is after my Dad for my phone bill since I haven't been able to pay anything on it since the middle of the summer.

Student loans are past due. Two of them are planning on each taking $104 out of my bank account on the 10th, which I don't have but about $25 in both checking and savings together.

I still have not found a job. I keep looking. But I either don't know where to look or just simply fail at looking for work. I don't know where to go to look for a job, or where to find people who are hiring. It seems that after the last failed application/interview that everything dried up where I had been applying through the local newspaper's spot on Yahoo's Hot Jobs site. It seems every time I've gone to Evansville to look for places the jobs are already taken or I can't even locate the building, even after looking on Google Maps before I leave home, and taking directions with me.

Also on the student loan things, the two of them that I talked to on the phone said I couldn't defer my loans for reason of unemployment but would have to get them put in forbearance. What the hey. I thought from the descriptions of the unemployment deferment I didn't have to still be enrolled anywhere to get it.

I don't know.

I feel like everything is crashing in on me right now financially. I don't have a job. Can't seem to find a job. The economy is horrible. Student loans are backing up. Verizon is making my Dad mad at me coz he thought I took care of them a while back. I don't know what to say to them or anything. They don't care that I don't have a job and can't find one.

I'd like to tell the banks where I got my loans from to have their CEO's pay off my debt... seeing as they are part of the major cause of the current economic crisis in the first place.

And how do people even find job listing? I don't subscribe to a newspaper. The Yahoo Hot Jobs that lists the postings from the Courier Press paper is about the only thing I know of to check for local listings of jobs. Where else do people look? Seriously, I don't know where else to look to hunt down a job. No one is interested in someone looking for clerical work who can't type 40WPM. Which I can't do. Not when I'm trying to look at something and read it and type at the same time. It's about like interpreting ASL for me... I can't get the hearing part to go into sign and the sign part to go into voice properly. Same thing. My brain just is not capable of that kind of multi-tasking. If I'm working on a computer to fix it I'm usually ok. Or at least used to be. I tend to not even do well with fixing computers as much these days since I haven't done it in a few months... Blah.

If I could just get a job testing video games I'd be set. Not that I can pwn noobs like others can. I don't program. I'm not an engineer. So I doubt that will ever happen....

A receptionist job, or secretary or something along those lines would be great.... meh.