Create

I have been trying to let my creative side out a little more lately. I have been doing some art projects on paper with yarn, as well as pen/pencil/crayon, and I have just re-installed my Adobe Photoshop Elements 6.0, which I had lost after moving, and just recently rediscovered.

Here are some of the things that I have been creating.

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One of the first projects I did a few months ago. Just Sharpie markers and highlighter on paper.

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Inspired by Luke 6:45 "A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."

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My latest Sharpie/pencil project. The pencil colors didn't turn out as bright as I had hoped, but I didn't have markers that I wanted to use for them, because they were too bold. But these are the three panels I ended up with.

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 Got the idea for this from gracewaymedia.com/ and tried to do my best at recreating it. (I'd go buy theirs if I had the money - mine is not refined at all.)

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Another attempt, with blue and purple, instead of two shades of blue. No snowflakes on this one either.

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Red and tan diagonal stripes. I was trying to do something in my church's colors. It didn't turn out readable. So I made one with a bit of white over the top of it so text could be added.

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640x480 attempt at following the tutorial from octotuts on YouTube.

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HD version! lol. Didn't turn out great, but the scatter/fade/etc is not the same in Photoshop Elements as it is in the real deal. Wish I could afford CS-whatever-number-they-are-up-to-now. For Photoshop and Illustrator.

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This was inspired by our pastor's description of what he plans to preach about next week. He's going to talk about how people are "fans" of Jesus, and "like" Him, but don't really FOLLOW Him.

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There you have it. My most recent art endeavors. Just trying to do something somewhat productive with the artsy gifting that God has given me.

Fed Up

I am sick and tired of seeing stuff about Santa. I've seen several movies recently that talk a lot about believing in Santa, and completely ignore the real reason for the season. I know it's a cliche phrase for Christ, but it is true (well, after the church tried to get people to focus on Christ instead of the pagan nature worship they were doing at the winter solstice.)

I don't see how, actually I do but that's another point I have tonight, people can keep talking about believing in Santa - who has never been made out to be an all powerful god, just an old dude in a red suit zooming around the planet visiting all the children in one night via magic or something esoteric such as that - and they cannot even briefly entertain the thought that God might in fact be real.

Which brings me to my second point. I know that people so nonchalantly deny that God exists because of free will in this broken and sinful world.

I know that as Christians we are called to love. But I can't help but want to pound people/the media over the head with a few candy canes at this time of year when they keep talking about believing in Santa and they don't even touch on the birth of the Messiah.

Never mind that Christ wasn't born in the middle of December. But that's beside the point.

The point is that people have almost completely forgotten the Messiah. They have forgotten that God came to this earth to live as we did, yet without sin, and experience life as we experience it, only to take on himself all of our sins to offer himself as a sacrifice so that we could live.

There is a supernatural war going on. If that is not more evident in the events of this last week I don't know what will make it evident. These shootings weren't senseless acts of violence. They were sinful acts of violence.

We need to put Christ back in Christmas, and put God and prayer back in schools. The enemy cannot stand when Jesus' name is spoken. We need to pray for our nation, reach out to our neighbors, and spread the Gospel in love to these people that have no hope. In Christ there is hope. He is our hope. Not Obama. Obamas promises are empty, as each mans promises are. Only God will fulfill each and every promise He has made.

Anyway. This nation needs the Gospel. This nation needs prayer. And this blogger needs sleep. That's the summation of my post. I'm off to bed.

*Also, we don't need more gun control laws. We need self-controlled people. These shooters have no self control. They act on unnatural urges to do wrong. If you support gun control you should also support anti-abortion, because over 100,000 babies are aborted daily. If that is not at least as horrifying as this latest shooting, then I don't know what to say.

Ending my slightly political and possibly very emotionally charged post now.

Atmosphere

For some reason the last couple weeks I've felt like there's been a shift in the atmosphere. Not in some new age sense. But in the very real spiritual battle sense. I'm not sure I've prepared myself for battle as best as I could have. I have felt a weight. Not overwhelmingly so. Something like a dull headache but in the spiritual realm. If that makes sense. Maybe you think I'm crazy by this point.

I don't know. I know it's not just me. I feel like others sense it too. I feel challenged to seek God more, (notice a theme lately?), and I'm not sure I'm doing as much as I can to seek Him.

I don't know what the point of this post is. I mean, as moody as I can get, and have been the last few days, I just feel like there is another sense of something different in a spiritual realm. Kind of like when a weather system moves through and I get a headache. I don't know what the atmosphere shift is. It's just something I feel.

Maybe I'm just rambling. But this thought has been on my mind for a couple of weeks or so now. I don't know exactly when. Maybe it's just something I am personally experiencing. Maybe it's just a spiritual battle, as I work with my friend Kelsey, on putting together a ladies night for the women's ministry at church. I want to be encouraging and not be all meh! I have been blessed so much by many of these ladies and I want to be a blessing, not a hindrance. More and more I find I'm being pulled out of my shell a little more.

Anyway, that's all I've got tonight. I have a long day/week ahead. Transitions coming up. I wonder how long NERD Energy Drink stays good... I have some from a couple years ago that I hadn't finished. I hope they're still good coz I need something to give me energy and focus this week!!

Seek the LORD

This has been on my heart this week.  For myself, that I would seek the Lord, and not waver in seeking Him just because recent enthusiasm may have dwindled some.  Not that my enthusiasm for what God is doing in myself, or the church body, has dwindled.  But sometimes the freshness wears off some.  It is then that seeking His face is ever more important.  Seeking God means talking to Him, and inquiring of Him.  (See four different Hebrew words for "seek" and their meanings here.)  I think it also means listening, because how can you inquire someone without listening for a response?

Oh, that we may seek Him continually, and would not let Him out of our sight!  It is when He is out of view that we start to worry about the things going on around us, and begin to sink into despair, such as Peter did when he took his eyes off Jesus while walking with Him on the water.  Let us be refreshed in our desire to seek His face!


For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

Jeremiah 29:11-14

New International Version (NIV)

How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
    By living according to your word. 

I seek you with all my heart;
    do not let me stray from your commands. 

I have hidden your word in my heart
    that I might not sin against you.

Psalm 119:9-11

New International Version (NIV)

But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Deuteronomy 4:29

New International Version (NIV)

Glory in his holy name;
    let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.

1 Chronicles 16:10

New International Version (NIV)

One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.

Psalm 27:4

New International Version (NIV)

 

The lions may grow weak and hungry,
    but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Psalm 34:10

New International Version (NIV)

But may all who seek you
    rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who long for your saving help always say,
    “The Lord is great!”

Psalm 40:16

New International Version (NIV)

 

Sing to him, sing praise to him;
    tell of all his wonderful acts.

Glory in his holy name;
    let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.

Look to the Lord and his strength;
    seek his face always.

Psalm 105:2-4

New International Version (NIV)

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
    to the one who seeks him;

Lamentations 3:25

New International Version (NIV)

 All italics/bolding mine for emphasis.

Reflections, Gratitude, & Spiritual Growth

As I reflect on this last year and how blessed I have been through the stress and the mess of things, I only have gratitude toward God, and for those who have walked beside me in this journey and continue to do so.

Out of that gratitude I want to give back and be a blessing. I just don't know how to minister well to people. I used to serve a lot more than I do now. Anymore I don't get as much time learning as I used to. So that makes me cherish the times I can be in service and listen and learn. I'm not really cut out for teaching, I don't think anyway. Maybe God has other plans for me. But I don't know right now. I just feel like I have forgotten to be a servant these last few years. I was nominated for a Servant Leadership award during college. That blew my mind then because I didn't know what anyone saw in me that they would even nominate me then. I especially don't see that in myself right now. And I want that to change.

This last weekend I gave a friend a back massage. I haven't really had much opportunity to give back massages to friends since college. I used to give my friends (you know who you are ;) ) back massages a lot. I loved doing that; being able to minister in healing with massage. I always took the opportunity to quietly pray for my friends during that time. It blessed me to be able to help them feel better. It definitely blessed me to be a blessing. Just being able to help my friend move her head better blessed me. Being given the opportunity to give a back massage again was a blessing. The last time I gave back massages was for a ladies night like a year or more ago. That's too long a time between giving back massages!

I just feel so many things stirring in my spirit. Ministering to others, serving others, praying for others both one-on-one and corporately. I haven't really felt a heart of ministry since college. I hadn't been with a group of believers who are all seeking God and ready for breakthrough in the spiritual realms since college. I keep being reminded of my time with Prayer Watch. I feel as if I wandered from that path after Prayer Watch ended, and am returning to where I was then, and growing beyond it. I am still excited for what God is doing in the church body that I am a part of. I don't want to become complacent in this season of growth. I don't want us to stop seeking just because we've grown a little. I pray the fire keeps burning within us and the Holy Spirit keeps pouring out His presence among us.

We, I, can't back down or become stagnant in growth. It makes me think that the complacency that I felt early this week, which i feel was part of a spiritual attack to get me to just stop being fervent in my reading or studies. I mean how easy would it be to just have given up early this week and let myself fight through the jaw pain and being tired and moody this week coz that's what my body felt. I could have just blown off my readings and not tried to study anything. I could give up on trying to bless others, because what can I really do? Right? How easy is it to become complacent in the day to day grind! When I feel like that I know I can't give in. Because I know God has greater things in store, not only for myself but for the small church body that I call home.

I feel as if a shift happened in the atmosphere when the women got back from our retreat in August. Something happened there. Something changed in our church. A fire was lit. We really did begin a "Fresh Brewed Life". It wasn't just a catchphrase for the weekend and what our leaders hoped would happen. It actually happened. It has been evident in our lives. I'm still excited for what God is doing in us, how He is growing us, molding us.

I can't put it into words adequately, so with that I will finish this slightly long winded and random post. I don't even know how many of my thoughts were cohesive. I do have a tendency to begin a thought without any backstory. And I feel like that has been several of my most recent posts. I don't think I have a really good starting point without going into far too much detail that would really be unnecessary and somewhat boring for most. Especially those adsensewatchdog people that keep stalking my page and jacking up my stats. Oh well. Time for me to sleep and see if my dreams are any more cohesive than this blog post.

Commercialism and Connection - A potpourri of thoughts

The more I see of commercialism, the more I hate it.

Yes, I like stuff just as much as the next person. But I keep getting annoyed with stuff. Like my last computer hard drive disc. It stopped working. I lost all my pictures, music, and other files. It was depressing.

I think of photography. I love photography. I like looking at pictures. I want a decent camera (like a DSLR) just so I could contribute to the plethora of photographs that are out there. Because people don't take the time to stop and enjoy the sights of what is around them every day. But then I think of heaven. We won't have photography in heaven. We won't need photography in heaven. Because we will be worshiping the Creator of all the beautiful things we see in this world. That will be all that will matter. Worshiping the Creator.

I look at days like today. Black Friday. The "kickoff" of the so-called "Christmas Season". People take one day to be thankful on Thanksgiving, and turn around the next day and practice a ridiculous display of greed, on what is supposed to be the season in which we celebrate the birth of our Savior, Christ Jesus. Never mind the fact that it's a Catholic holiday (I am a non-denominational Bible-believing Christian,) and I do not celebrate the Catholic Mass remembering Christ's birth, but I do think that His birth is obviously worth remembering (and I dislike those who want to take Christ out of Christmas). Christmas is also not in the correct season... since Jesus was likely not born in the winter time. Christmas trees stem from a pagan ritual to celebrate the winter solstice, so should we as Christians really be decorating them?

How easily we lose sight of what is important in this season: Celebrating Jesus Christ and the fact that He came to earth, to live and grow up here like we do, yet without sin, so that He could take the burden of our sins and die in our place. Spending time with family and friends - being face to face with those we love... not going out and buying more crap that can't love us back.

Community and belonging are things that have been on my heart for a long time. Something that I don't see many churches *get* even though they may talk about it. So to see people, both Christians and non-Christians, so disconnected from others that they would trample those in front of them just to get some piece of metal/plastic, it's heartbreaking.

One of my more recent thoughts has been "Connect In Person". If you follow me on Twitter, you'll see me hashtag it sometimes, #ConnectInPerson. As much as I enjoy technology and social media, it can be a detriment to your social life. I would much rather spend time with people than online just browsing random sites and checking on what other people are doing. I don't get to spend a lot of time with family or friends because of my schedule. I enjoy when I can spend time with people. I think we focus too much on our social scores online, Facebook stalking each other, following people just to get more followers. Lately the unsubscribe button in e-mails has been my friend, when it works. I get too many stock e-mails, not enough personal ones. I see too much clutter in my Twitter feed. There are too many obnoxious posts on Facebook. So at the risk of losing followers, I am un-following several people and products, just to clean up my feeds.

Why do they call it a feed? What are we feeding ourselves? These social media platforms don't force us to follow these people or pages. What are we posting? Are we lifting up others with what we say? Or are we constantly tearing down everyone, including ourselves?

That is about the end of my thoughts for this evening. I'll leave you with a quote that has been on my mind recently. Mostly as I reflect on the craziness of this year. I could give a recap, but that should be another post in and of itself, and I don't know if I feel like doing that. But it's on my mind, and it also relates to general connectedness. Because I would not be as connected with my church family now if it wasn't for the events of the last year with my job, moving, the women's retreat, spiritual growth, and other happenings throughout the year.

“We had some random things happen to us; some good, some bad, some you can’t explain, some you don’t want to, but one thing we did learn for sure…when God throws a curveball…don’t duck…you just might miss something.” 

      Will --- Extreme Days

Breakthrough: take two

I keep trying to write a post here and too much gets written but I don't want to delete it, so I keep saving my draft and writing a new post. So here goes this weeks "take two".

This has been a week of spiritual breakthrough. Of listening to the Holy Spirit telling me to act, and almost being too afraid to do so. However, when Holy Spirit tells you that if you are not obedient He will put His work in your life on hold, you know then you have to act. I had to step out of my box. I had to push past my fears. And with that came some spiritual breakthrough just in being truthful before God, as we had just learned about regarding the spiritual armor of God that is given in Ephesians 6. Chip Ingram spoke about the armor all attaching to the belt in regards to the Roman armor in that day. And as a metaphor the belt of truth means approaching God in truth, and being truthful with ourselves and others.

Stepping out in faith to walk in that truth, and allowing God to examine the deep places of your heart... That's some scary stuff. Or it can be. In truth there is freedom.

I cannot wait to see what God does when we are gathered together this Sunday. I am so thankful to be a part of this church body. I am excited for how God is going to move. I come expecting. Not for some kind of spiritual or emotional high from feeling His presence. Last week I came praising because I *didn't* "feel"like praising. I felt attacked last Sunday, which was all the more reason for me to praise. No, I can't wait to just have that time of corporate worship and praise, and getting in the Word. It makes me come alive to worship my Creator.

I am back out on the dance floor...

Election 2012

Regardless the results of the election for President, this nation needs to turn back to God.  For too long it has been turning its back on God. Prayer is not allowed in schools. Sexual perversions run rampant in the media and marketplace. Individuals, companies and government entities are overcome with greed. "Numero Uno" is the god above the Alpha and the Omega. It's legal to murder children before they are born, but it's inhumane to deprive inmates of cable TV or the Internet. Drunken oblivion and one-night-stands are humorous (i.e. "Two and a Half Men" and other comedies). 

When will this nation awaken? It has reached a spiritual stupor. We, as Christians, need to gather to pray for this country. We are in the midst of a battle, and it isn't about party lines. It's taking place in the spiritual realms. A realm that most of America is blind to.

¹³ You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh^[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. ¹⁴ For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”^{[b] 15} If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
¹⁶ So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever^[c] you want. ¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
¹⁹ The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰ idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹ and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴ Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵ Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. ²⁶ Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
 Galatians 5:13-26 (NIV)

Rest in God alone

Truly my soul finds rest in God; 
    my salvation comes from him. 
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
    he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
~Psalm 62:1-2

 
Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
    your vindication like the noonday sun.
~Psalm 37:5-6 


When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. 
     In God, whose word I praise—
in God I trust and am not afraid.
    What can mere mortals do to me?
~Psalm 56:3-4


I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
~Psalm 91:2


Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
~Philippians 4:4-7

(All above verses are from the NIV)



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Holy Spirit move me: take two

We saw the Holy Spirit move at church yesterday. What started out as ordinary Sunday worship quickly changed into something extraordinary. Holy Spirit took the service and ran with it. People were being healed. Others interceded for loved ones. We stood there praising God for over an hour, maybe almost two. I don't know how long it went really. It could have lasted all day if we hasn't dismissed.

My only regret is not going forward to the altar. I had just asked for prayer during our morning Bible study for my index finger that feels like I jammed it. It just doesn't want to bend properly right now. Why didn't I go forward? In writing earlier, my first attempt at this post which won't be posted, I came to the conclusion that it is because of fear. Fear that I will not receive the healing that others were receiving. The fear that I would just have to deal with it. Why can't I just go beyond that fear and experience freedom? I am praying for the heavens to open up again during service. The Holy Spirit is moving in our little church. We have already faced opposition from the enemy. The enemy has had to report an uprising. God is going to do things through this church. Big things. We don't know yet what God has in store for us. But we are prayerful and are continuing to seek Him.

Silence

Bible study this evening was an amazing study/discussion on spiritual warfare. This study will last several weeks and is from a series titled "The Invisible War". I'm not going to get to be there for all of the sessions in this study but I'm excited for this.

During the discussion we were asked to give a response to a question, which several people did. During Sunday morning Bible study there is always discussion and questions. Even last Sunday evening we had a sort of spontaneous meeting and were given the opportunity to discuss various topics and input our thoughts.

My problem is I may have something to say, but I rarely speak up. I never feel like I have anything worthwhile to say that will add to the conversation. Or I just don't want to interrupt. I don't like to talk over anyone to make my point heard. If I do have something to say and actually want to say it I will usually not speak very loudly at first. If no one hears me trying to get into the conversation I usually just hold on to the thought. Although after a few seconds my thought will escape if I don't write it down first!!

I think part of it too is that I'm a quality time/small group kind of person. With one to three people I'm usually fine talking. That's small enough of a group for me to actually get a chance to speak. I don't like trying to speak up in a group of more than four or five.

I just get so annoyed at myself for feeling like I had something I could say, something to add to the conversation, and I don't speak up.

The same goes for spiritual things as well. Every once in a while I may feel that Holy Spirit is doing something. Sometimes I'm able to discern what it is and speak that. Other times I can just sense that He is working, but on what specifically I'm not sure, so i may not say anything. If there's a specific picture I'm given, I can usually tell then what I'm supposed to say.

Those are my thoughts tonight. I want to have the boldness to speak up more. I have the freedom to do so. There are plenty of opportunities. But just speaking is the hardest step for me. To add my thoughts or experiences to the mix. Not that I don't trust my church family with what I would say. I trust them. I just don't trust myself to say things the right way the first time. I tend to write things out and edit my thoughts before I will say them. Or just edit them in my head a million times so sometimes I don't know if I said it out loud or just thought it really intently so it sounded loud in my head. Maybe I'm strange. This is why I write instead of talk most times. Because sometimes what I say may sound strange.

That is all I have for now. Leave your thoughts or comments below. (Seeing views on my posts and no comments is like me sitting in Bible study and being silent. I'm there but what am I contributing to the conversation?)

Battle Cry

I was watching the Today Show this morning. They referenced a recent Pew study (see link at end of post) which found that those who identify themselves as being a Protestant Christian are declining, and those who identify as having no religion are on the rise. While this is not surprising results, it is surprising to me that it actually made the morning headlines.

Immediately after they went to a segment of Today's Professionals. The first story they talked about was a recent football game where the crowd cheered when a player was injured somewhat seriously. They asked themselves why the crowd is cheering when bad things happen to the opposing team. They thought that was a backward way to act in America.

How blind this generation is to spiritual things! They cannot connect the fact that a godless generation is going to celebrate the offensive and disgusting things! They even paraphrase Scripture when they themselves admit that people are calling wrong things right! (Although they don't reference it they have at least heard it enough to admit that these actions are not how people *should* act.)

"Woe to those who call evil good
and good evil,
who put darkness for light
and light for darkness,
who put bitter for sweet
and sweet for bitter." (Isaiah 5:20 NIV)

Now is the time to pray for this country. Now is the time to tell people about Jesus Christ and the fact that He is not on the same level as all these false gods out there that people worship! We are facing a spiritual warfare that cannot be fought with nuclear, biological, psychological, or otherwise physical weapons.

I guess what I'm saying is that we need to pray. For our churches. For our families. For our states. For our nation. We are waiting on the bridegroom to come, and every day is one day closer. I guess my platform for telling people about Christ is here, this blog. I know I don't have that many readers outside of immediate family. But that's more people than I speak to face to face each day.

I just don't get how people can walk through life without looking through a spiritual lens these days. Looking through the spiritual lens is like looking through a SLR camera. You see what is actually there. It helps you focus. If the view is crap it shows you. It doesn't photoshop it before you click the shutter release! So many people walk around with a photoshopped reality that isn't a reality at all! My heart hurts for those people. And not being a very socially adept person, I really don't know how to reach them.

That is all for now. I need to sleep. I am weary from running errands and trying to get the words right to say what I felt needed to be said here tonight.



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Blessed be the Name of the Lord

Praising God for those in my life who are such an undeserved blessing to me.

Praising God for closing doors on purchasing certain vehicles, and praising Him for opening the doors to the decision to get my new (to me) car.

Praising God for the ability to get a vehicle... one that runs; and stops; the windows all go up and down; the trunk lid actually closes (and even opens automatically!); keyless entry!!; A/C and heat that works; a radio that works; LED headlights; cupholders!; doors that aren't iffy; it doesn't veer off toward the ditch the moment I let go of the wheel (only to test the alignment!); and my Mom likes how it sits! :-)

Praising God for time to seek His face, even though it won't be at church, and it will be difficult missing the women's group.

Praising God for a schedule that will allow me to have time to clean up my apt, and craft, and actually sleep.

Praising God for the things He is doing at NPCC, and the spiritual growth going on right now.

Praising God when it's easy or hard to do so.

Treasure Map

 <sup>How often do we hear Jeremiah 29:11 quoted when speaking of plans that God has for people or churches, or even high school students/college students the day after graduation and you haven't a clue where life is going?

Yesterday morning we (women's group at church) talked about this passage a little bit, and it impressed a image in my mind about it. To get the most out of this verse, you have to read it in a little more context.

"11</sup> For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." ~Jeremiah 29:11-13.

While praying after we talked, I got this picture in my mind of a treasure map, like you might see in relation to pirates. You know the ones: The brown parchment paper with weathered and torn edges, and a thick red "X" where the treasure is buried.

This map represented that we have the promise from God that He knows the plans he has for us. The red "X" is the plan. It is there waiting for us, but it isn't something that we just wait to have delivered to us. It's something we go after by seeking His face and praying.

Infused

Just a thought I had on my drive back to my apt this evening. The songs on the radio and thoughts already spinning around in my head. *this was a few days ago, like last weekend I think* Anyway, the thoughts I was thinking that evening last week we turned to the word "Infused". I was listening to KLOVE on my drive back to town. The songs stirred my thoughts. I began to think about "soaking music" and the Kansas City International House of Prayer (KC-IHOP) and the music that used to be played there. I thought about what soaking music means: soaking in the presence of the Father. Does this mean soaking in His presence all around us, or does this mean letting His presence be inside of us so that we are infused with His presence as He permeates our being?

Then I looked up the definition. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines "infused" as:
------------------------------------------
Main Entry: in·fuse
Pronunciation: \in-ˈfyüz\
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): in·fused; in·fus·ing
Etymology: Middle English, to pour in, from Middle French & Latin; Middle French infuser, from Latin infusus, past participle of infundere to pour in, from in- + fundere to pour — more at found
Date: 1526
1 a : to cause to be permeated with something (as a principle or quality) that alters usually for the better b : introduce, insinuate
2 : inspire, animate
3 : to steep in liquid (as water) without boiling so as to extract the soluble constituents or principles
4 : to administer or inject by infusion
— in·fus·er noun
synonyms infuse, suffuse, imbue, ingrain, inoculate,
Leaven: means to introduce one thing into another so as to affect it throughout. It implies introducing something that enlivens, tempers, or markedly alters the total quality.
Infuse: implies a pouring in of something that gives new life or significance.
Suffuse: implies a spreading through of something that gives an unusual color or quality.
Imbue: implies the introduction of a quality that fills and permeates the whole being.
Ingrain: (used only in the passive or past participle) suggests the deep implanting of a quality or trait. Inoculate: implies an imbuing or implanting with a germinal idea and often suggests stealth or subtlety.
-------------------------------------------
(Emphasis above mine)

If you want to infuse water with a flavor, you put the item in the water, and let the flavor seep out into it. Is this not what we should desire from the presence of God? That He would infuse us - to place down deep inside us so the Spirit seeps through us -  with His Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit has come to dwell in us, to infuse us with Himself, that we would glorify God by becoming more Christ like.

Anyway... that's just a few of my thoughts... I don't really have a good conclusion.... it's late and I need to sleep. I have a long day tomorrow, and a long week ahead. Funny, I dreamed the other night that I would feel like I hadn't really rested this weekend by the time tomorrow evening came about... I feel like that's what it's going to be like tomorrow evening, but it's going to be so worth it.

Grace

What can I say? I find myself clicking "unfollow" and "unlike" a lot these days. Especially if someone posts something with vulgar language or even generally stupid material. I don't have need for that in my life. Maybe you take good photographs or are an amazingly good artist. But when I see things that offend my spirit I will continue to click "unfollow" and "unlike" on those profile pages.

I feel as if my media filter has become more fine as I continue with where my mind and heart has been after our women's retreat. It's like an oasis has been found in the desert. A more accurate term may be rediscovered. It's been there. I was just going in circles. Going through the motions. I feel reawakened to spiritual things that I've experienced before and yet this is different. It's as if the whole church body at NPCC has been awakened to the same thing, except it's going to go deeper. I am so excited for the things we are learning as a church body, and the spiritual growth that is happening. To take the phrase from the lesson during the college group Crossroads: The Journey Is The Destination. We are never fully there spiritually. We may be more mature than we used to be, but we've always got more to learn and experience!

Although I may not be quite sure my spiritual gifting, I do know another gifting god has given me. And that is being an artist. I wanted to share this piece, which is the one I've recently worked on. The clouds with the lightning represent life before Christ. The sun rays, blue sky, and fluffy white clouds represent the grace God bestowed on us in His Son, Jesus. Yeah, maybe it's a simple drawing in Sharpie. But it was an idea I needed to get out of my head since the word "grace" has been on my mind lately. I don't know what I'm going to do with the piece now that I've drawn it. I just keep thinking of what else I can draw next!

Well this has been a lengthy blog for me. I should go to bed since its already midnight-thirty...

Sitting here at my computer, trying to catch up on the week.  I finally got my email box cleaned out.  I could do that from my phone... almost... It only archives... for some reason it won't delete emails by swiping... Yes, I finally got a real phone. PtL! Even though the signal in my apt is kinda weak... Weak signal is better than no signal whatsoever.

Finally turned on some praise & worship music.  I've been sitting here for about 20 minutes in silence.  At least it wasn't an hour!

I am working on a new art piece.  It is simple.  And it isn't my usual line art.  I need a different design to make for my line art... Or a larger piece of media to draw on.... Yes, it would be a lot more tedious to color in something larger, but oh so much more satisfying.  I shall attempt to post a picture of my new piece when I finish it.  I don't know what I'm going to do with it when I get done with it.  I need a portfolio to put my work in... Or frames. Lol.

I think I should probably go to bed soon.  About an hour has passes since I actually started this post.  Just been distracted and looking at other stuff and listening to music.  Time for sleep.

Why is it when I think of something I want to look up I'm never able to get to a computer or anything fast enough to remember what I wanted to look up when I get there? I had something on my mind and as soon as I stepped out of the room *poof* it went away! Oh, well.

I was so blessed by the worship and the message at church today. And getting together with the women before church started to pray.

I have so much on my mind I want to write but don't have the words right now.

coffee

I really want to redesign my blog.  But I don't know what I want to do with it.  I just feel like I need something new and fresh.

I can't wait for church tomorrow.  My sis will be joining us, as she is in town for the weekend.  I just can't wait for the praise and worship, and for fellowshipping with other believers, and the message.  We've been learning so much about spiritual gifts.  We even had a lot of conversations last weekend during the retreat about spiritual gifts.  I love that we are discovering these ways to glorify God.

I love the atmosphere at church lately.  It's like we are truly beginning to walk in the way that's been prepared for us.  It's an atmosphere I felt at Bethel (College), but it had been absent for some time.  There's a sweetness to this rediscovery. 

I can't wait for later in September.  We are having a prayer day one Saturday.  Can. Not. Wait.  Almost as much as I couldn't wait for the retreat.  I know there's so much more to learn and encounter spiritually.

I'm also excited for our new church building.  I have been excited for the new building, but not like this.  It was exciting that we would have a place to call our own, instead of a remodeled glass store.  But I've been asked to be part of the creative team to help with decorating and whatnot.  I can't wait.  I long to be creative, and have a place to be creative.  Yes, making sure we have the acoustic panels covered in fabrics that match the color scheme of the sanctuary makes me happy!  It's the little things in life, right?

Anyway, the night is getting away from me.  Soon it will be morning, and I will be groggy during Bible study if I don't get to bed and get some sleep!  Will definitely need coffee in the morning!

Retreat

As I come back from the retreat, just barely starting to do laundry, and just processing everything... I am feeling like I want to stay off the grid a while.  I want to stay in this presence of the Father, and not be sitting in front of this shiny screen to type, however I wanted to get my thoughts out on "paper" before they left me, as they so swiftly do. 

I had a good time getting to know the ladies from our women's group.  It was refreshing.  The takeaways from this weekend are going to have to process for me.  I'm not one to know right away what my takeaway will be.  I just don't process things that quickly.  I just pray that the things I learned this weekend will stick with me, and I will be able to continue with them.

I may be lacking in sleep because I wasn't in my own bed for two nights, and the workweek before was slightly hectic.  But I feel spiritually refreshed.  This was a long time coming, and it was such a blessed weekend.  It's like a flavor note.... it finished with a sweet one for me.  Church service this morning was refreshing as well.  A good finish to the retreat, although not directly a part of it (although it was a God-part of it).

I didn't really talk a whole lot.  I mostly listened to other conversations and tried to learn more about other people.  Things have to be drawn out of me.  Talking with people is difficult, as I'm not real big on small talk and whatnot.

I re-learned a lot of truths this weekend.  Things I've walked in before, but have not for a while.  It was refreshing.  I know I keep using that word, but it was. 

Strange but vivid dream

Sometime last week, right before I woke up in the morning, I had a strange dream.  This is not uncommon.  Sometimes I remember the dream, sometimes I don't.  That morning I remembered this dream:

It was like I was looking at a comic book online or maybe scrolling down my Facebook feed.  I saw a picture that had been posted.  I don't remember who posted it.  But it was in the comic style with one rectangular scene above a second one.  In the top picture was what looked like a boxing ring.  Outside the ring was a crowd of people, all dressed in nice clothing, fancy dresses for the women, and suits/tuxes for the men. This was the scene of a well to do group of people.  In the middle of the boxing ring was a pastor, and a bride.  The bride was standing there, in a beautiful white dress, veil over her face, waiting on her groom to arrive, as he had been delayed. (Why they went ahead with the ceremony up to that point I'm not quite sure, but maybe for the illustration...) The scene, although drawn, was somewhat real and was moving like a video as well, like one of those cut-scenes in a movie where they zoom in on a photo or drawing and it comes to life.  In this cut-scene the groom ran in, pants wrinkled, barefoot, tuzedo jacket and shirt gone, only wearing a silvery-white vest.  He looked as if he had been mugged.  The crowd gasped, as they covered their mouths with their hands, wide-eyed and shocked at the situation of the groom.  The well meaning pastor asked if he was ok, and what had happened.  The groom said something, that I can't remember clearly, but it was something like a man had come up to him, and asked him for his coat, in a very impolite manner.  The pastor asked something about whether he wanted to call the cops and have the man hunted down.  The young groom then said, in all innocence something about not needing to do that, but he had given him the coat, and his shirt.  (For some reason the guy didn't want the vest? Still not sure why he had the vest on)  He mentioned the Scripture about it: Matthew 5:40 - "And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well."  At this the crowd reached for their handkerchiefs to wipe the tears from their eyes at the innocence and obedience of the groom.  The pastor stood there, amazed at the young man.  The bride laughed a short, slightly anxious laugh, happy that her groom had made it to the wedding, as they fell into each others arms in a grateful embrace.  The picture zoomed out again, back to the page, the pictures contrasting one another: the first of an almost outrage at what had happened, the second of complete joy of the innocence and obedience.


And then I woke up.

rest

Took a couple vacation days last week.  Spent one day hanging out with family I hadn't seen in a good long while.  We had an awesome day walking around the zoo, and trying to keep from melting, and just spending time together.

Started reading a book by Graham Cooke, again.  Started reading it during college, but got busy and forgot about it.

Can I just say that I'm excited for the women's retreat next month?  It's been too long since I've been on a retreat.  Maybe I have said that before... but it has.

Some songs from the 90's are too redundant and long.... Listening to some old songs on Spotify.  Not sure why I put annoying songs in my playlist...

Excited for things happening at church lately.  The church is learning, in short, about walking in their spiritual giftings... This is gonna be awesome.

I feel like writing more tonight, but gotta get off the computer shortly.

a post that actually got finished

I keep attempting to write on here, and I keep getting distracted and walking off to do something else.

I finished my Instagram Coasters.

Let me know if you want a set.

Seriously.

I will make them.

It may take a while...

But I will make them.




Looking forward to a couple of things coming up here in the next few weeks.
~ Hanging out with church folks on the 4th
~ Women's Retreat next month
~ Another thing, which I may update on in a later post
~ My niece's wedding in a couple weeks
~ Seeing another niece I haven't seen for ages and taking a couple vacation days to catch up

 Anyway, that's all I have to write for now. It's thundering here. I hope it rains full on... but most of it is currently going north of us. Praying for rain. A long steady rain, and cooler temps so the rain doesn't just creep back into the atmosphere immediately. I'd love if it would rain for a week. Not a downpour, but something the ground would have time to soak up...

05-28-12

No tent sleeping for me this weekend. Cousins didn't come because one was sick with a fever last week.

The thing about long weekends is they never seem long enough.

Excited about the possibility of going on a retreat with the women's group from church. I don't know any details yet, but I need to turn in my weekend schedule so they can look at everyone's schedules and plan it. Wherever it is, whenever it is, I'm excited. It's been too long since I've been on a retreat and haven't been there as a helper.

I'm off this Wednesday, because I'm working on Saturday. So glad to get to go to church on Wednesday night!

Anyway, that's all I have to say for now.

Another week

Work went well last week. Good things happening.

Bible study this last Wednesday was good. It touched on some things that have been on my mind/heart lately. Sad I will probably miss this week.

This coming weekend is Memorial Day weekend. My parents will have some extra guests on Saturday night. I may be camping in the yard in a tent with my air mattress. 6 people, I think, is the headcount for the visitors. Cousins that haven't been out this way in ages.

Gotta go put up my pizza. Lunch this week. Trying to figure out what to take for lunches is absolutely insane. Especially when one is not inclined to cook very often.

Thinking about... a lot of things. Getting an iPhone? It may be a possibility depending on my budget, which I need to take another look at. Getting a working vehicle. Mine still kind of works... barely... I need a car more than a phone, obviously. Doing more art. I need to get some designs/stencils to work on. I need to clean my apartment....

Speaking of which, back to it I go.

05/13/12

Happy Mother's Day to my mom!

Good day today hanging with family and cooking out.

Church was good today. Interesting. Gave a new perspective on how people lately are thinking, or most of all: not thinking. Part of it had to do with the president and his most recent departure from sanity, along with the rest of the nation's pervasive mindset of all things being relative, including how nature works.

Anyway, on other topics... I have to leave soon to head back to my apt, and back to the work week.

I have so much on my mind right now and I wish I had to words to say. So much going on right now. Changes. More and more all the time. Training right now at work. More training after this training is over. I'm excited, but somewhat overwhelmed.

If I had a superpower is seems that it would be an invisibility cloak. One that is on more than it is off. I'm not the most outgoing person. I take a while to warm up to people. Most often I'm too quiet to be noticed. I should have been a ninja.

Well, I should be going now. It's getting late and I still have to drive home. It's only a 25-30 minute drive, but still... I am getting tired. I haven't rested the last two weekends. Last week was movie weekend with my sister... Too late of a night, and too early of a morning. This weekend was yard sale early morning and strawberry picking. The strawberry picking has left me sore. A good sore. But sore nonetheless. That, and I only got about 5 hours of sleep Friday night, and not much more last night. Thankful for a 10:30am shift tomorrow. I also have a 8-4:30 shift Wednesday. Gonna be hard getting up, but I'm stoked I didn't have to ask for a trade so I could go to church!

Time to end this post. Goodnight all.

05/05/12

Another week ahead.

The worst part about the coming week - more than likely not going to get to go to church Wednesday night. Unless someone decides to swap schedule with me. My schedule is late. At least I may be able to go to bed "on time" this week, instead of being up later than I should be. I'm still too much of a night owl even without a computer to keep me up at night.

I also have no idea what I'm going to take for lunch this week. I never have any ideas what to take/fix. I have stir fry I can make for a couple days. I'm too indecisive. Breakfasts and dinners are usually figured out fairly easily. Just figuring out what to take for lunch.

I need to search out my old wallet. I had some things tucked away in it, and need to find them.

Hoping this week goes well. Training is going well. I'm being trained to answer the emails. I'll also be training to answer online chat through the website as well. Can. Not. Wait. I love getting into the electronic communications part of things. It's what I do best.

OK, time to get off of here. Get out from in front of the cool fan. And go eat a brownie my sis just said she's making in the microwave. Thanks, Pinterest! lol.

Just a side note... I need a refresher course for grammar. I should search out my college books.... Although I don't think I still have my grammar book from freshman year...

04/15/12

Meh. This last week was ok. Not spectacular. Not horrible. Just ok. A bit mediocre I guess.

Trying to be positive lately. It's just not working well.

Good things are happening it seems. Although some things are still blah.

Some days I just feel like, I'm almost 27 years old, shouldn't I have more of life figured out by now?

Sometimes what some people mean as encouragement only discourage a person.

Well, I have more I would like to say, but I've run out of how to say it.

I need to go soon anyway....

At least I was able to find a trade this week so I can go to church Wednesday night. Praise God! Seriously!

OK, I must be off...

I know what I know...

... I just don't feel it right now.

When chased, run...

Just out of curiosity, I wonder why I found that someone, from a company that shall remain unnamed because it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, was viewing my blog on discontinued products...

Anyway... that was random to find. I'm just somewhat paranoid I guess. Actually I'm quite paranoid... Especially of my neighbors. I was visited twice, once by the police, and once by the sheriff's dept last month. They were looking for a person who used to live in my apartment. I didn't know where he lived at the time, but I did find out recently. It's within line-of-sight of my door, which I find creepy. Not to mention the fact that he was on the upstairs landing with some people from there the other day and said hi to me, knowing I lived in his old apartment, before I even introduced myself. Creep scale went off the charts at that moment. And I walked past his apartment without knowing who he was at the time, to go get my mail after dark (because that's when I got home), and glanced at his window, and he has his computer there at the front window, and he was just sitting there in the dark, I'm not sure if he was looking out his window or looking at his computer, because I was trying not to look in my neighbors' windows because *I* didn't want to seem like a creep. These are the reasons I am paranoid... and a hermit, for the most part. People are strange.

OK, enough randomness ranting about Creepers...
 


Now to sleep.. Bet you can't tell I need to go to bed since this post probably doesn't make much sense.... Church in the morning. He is RISEN! Happy Easter!