Monday, November 17, 2008

Feeling like a failure. Almost literally. This is not good. I'm stressed. I can't focus. I need to focus. I need to get these things done. Too much stuff has been put off until the last minute. Or so it seems.

Small Group
Midweek revision
the graduate level paper for Senior Sem. that I haven't really started on because I am still looking for some good research for it...
Curriculums for Disciple Making Structures.

And then there's the YS trip this weekend that, right now, I'm not even sure I'm going to be able to go on, or if I really should go just for the amount of stuff that I have to be getting done.

I also am going home next week for Thanksgiving for about 4 days. There's only three weeks of school after that!

The end of the semester is coming up far too fast.

I guess that's what I get for procrastinating.

It's so hard to focus on anything right now. Reading, studying, writing papers... I just want them all to be over with and done. I am so ready to leave this place. But to go where afterwards? I don't know where I'm going to go when I graduate. Right now this campus is very lonely. Or it's just making me lonely. I'm really bad at making new friends, especially when most people I know already have their own groups of friends. I don't really fit in here anymore. On campus or even at my church. The college group just lost its leader, because he moved to a new church to do some pastoral work there. Which is a good thing for him. But the college group that I have been going to for the last three years has mostly graduated or moved away. These days I just get up and shower and go to regular service. I don't feel like getting up before 8am because I'm usually up until midnight or after trying to work on stuff or whatever. Being stressed mentally and emotionally doesn't help anything.

So, here I am, feeling like it's gonna be a crash & burn kind of landing...

1 comment:

mary christine said...

Even if it's crash and burn, remember the phoenix...