Tuesday, July 22, 2008


I'm at work. I'm slightly bored.

I really do not have any deep thoughts, or amazing spiritual comments to write at this moment.

What I have right now is more of a lament. I seem to be falling back onto old battle fields. Ones I thought I had crossed. But here I am again, back in the same old stuff as usual. I have recently been way over emotional about every little thing. And yet, I seem to hear God telling me that He just wants me to seek Him.

I'm a little thick headed at times.... which is basically all the time...

I don't take direction well.

I don't take correction well.

I don't take change well.

I have too much stuff that I don't know what to do with, and can't seem to bring myself to get rid of. I am too sentimental... even if an item isn't mine I can be sentimental about it.

I keep thinking that I should be beyond these battles that I have been facing. The same old lies from the enemy. Pride... that seems to be a never ending battle. Even when it comes down to spending time with Him, I just have not been with it the last couple months or so. And I don't like it....

I am discontent. With myself, for slacking, for being fairly lazy (even though I would not usually admit that), for letting myself fall back into this dark rut of depression once more... but it is only a season, that will hopefully soon pass...

I am discontent: with how I handle my finances, my important papers/documents, my homework (although I have not had homework since April... but I will again soon enough), my time, my friendships, my relationships in general.

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