Wednesday, May 7, 2008

This week has been so slow at times and so fast at others. Slow in the daytime when i have had things to get done. Fast at night time when i have needed to sleep and not do anything. We, my roommates and I, have been feeling the pressure to get things organized. That finally happened last night. We've had only a little bit of time to actually relax today. We did not get to bed until late last night because we were up cleaning. But we were able to sleep sort of late. Not all that late considering the time we went to bed.

We have all been stressed. Last night before I went to bed, I was focusing on calming down and just conversing with God for a while, lest I have another panic attack. I have really felt the last week or so that I have been on the verge of having one, just because I have been so stressed lately on every front with the last few weeks of school and everything that brought with it. I was talking to Trista this morning, and how she described the last few weeks for her were the same as how I have described mine.

Tonight is youth group. I hope that I am up to par for it tonight. I hope that all of us are.

I think my bed here is too hard, or uneven or something. My back has been messed up since I started sleeping here. I have felt disoriented at night because the room is so dark, and the bed felt like it was dropped down on the right side so my muscles were strained, and the AC is the industrial type, so it sort of shakes everything slightly. I'm not kidding when I say that my ears are sensitive to different sounds or motions. That kind of thing really throws me off balance and into disorientation. It's not all that fun. Plus I've been going to bed so tired lately that I am about to fall over by the time I do go to bed.

I don't mean to complain... I feel like I am right now.

I'm trying to breathe. I really am.

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