No Fear

When you're not wearing your glasses and you're nearsighted, and a tiny little moth flies close to the wall, it casts a gigantic shadow that just might freak you out. I'm sure there's a message in that, and it just might have to do with worry. After I began breathing again, after squinting wildly at the wall, I realized I had nothing to fear after all. It was just a tiny little moth, not some monstrous spider or something. It was a reminder to keep my head about me.  For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control. (‭2 Timothy‬ ‭1‬:‭7‬ AMP)

A photo posted by Nora Whelan (@technoindigo) on Nov 10, 2014 at 7:04pm PST

Hold Fast

Dark, cold and wet has been the only weather I've seen for several days now. Ready for a break in the clouds. Even still, I know the sun is shining behind that thick layer of clouds overhead. The weather has been kind of like the feeling of discouragement that overshadowed the early part of the week while still dealing with my knee still hurting and my tires on my car seeming a little unbalanced. But I hold fast to what I know persists in the midst of all these little things that distract me, and that is the goodness of my Savior. That my circumstances shouldn't determine how I feel or act. That He can get through to the deep places that just need an extra measure of His presence. That I'm still dealing with my knee hurting (less now than earlier in the week, but it still has that twinge in it that makes me treat it with special care as I go about my day), and my tires are still a bit wobbly (tried to deal with that tonight, but Walmart's air compressor broken!) but I can be joyful in my Lord, and I can let His peace overwhelm me, instead of being overwhelmed by my circumstances. Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭4-7‬ NLT)

A photo posted by Nora Whelan (@technoindigo) on Dec 4, 2014 at 8:17pm PST

Set Apart

To be holy, or set-apart, is a call to change. We are to no longer be who we used to be before calling on the name of Christ. To call yourself a Christian implies an initial change of heart, as well as a desire to continue to change! God may love you right where you are, but He definitely doesn't want to leave you there! We continue to grow and change from our old life to then strive for holiness and righteousness as we live out our walk as a Christian. If you have no desire to change from how you were living before - after you've come to Christ, what are you really doing? Does not the thought of Christ dying on the cross for your sin cause you to want to change your life and turn from what you used to do? Who can go on worshipping idols, living in sexual sin, getting drunk, etc. if you have turned to Christ? Am I saying that it's easy to stop sinning? Absolutely not! Even Paul, who wrote a majority of the New Testament, admitted it was a daily struggle. But the desire to NOT sin any longer is going to be evidence of your walk. There is a battle between the flesh and spirit. But if you willingly and unrepentantly keep on sinning you are on dangerous ground. It might be a good time to reevaluate where you really are standing. If you find yourself in a place you don't want to be, and you want to change, turn to Jesus, and let Him work in you. It doesn't take pomp and circumstance to come to Christ. Just simply come to Him. It may not be an easy road, but it is quite the journey.

A photo posted by Nora Whelan (@technoindigo) on Dec 8, 2014 at 9:59am PST

Jehovah Jireh

Jehovah Jireh - God the Provider  I've been worrying about many things lately. Even after hearing this last Sunday about how we need to be joyful in all circumstances, be prayerful, and be thankful - it is still a challenge. Things come up and they just try to trip you and make you worry. You think that your circumstances are too overwhelming and you just want to wallow in that self-pity and pout about how everything is going wrong. But you must remember to rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). When you don't feel like doing these things is the most important time to be them. These aren't things we do. They're things we are. So the last few days I've found myself overwhelmed, struggling to *be* these things. Then today, God reminded me again that He is faithful. That He will make a way where all I see are difficult circumstances. Holy Spirit encouraged me and reminded me that my God is a God who provides. Little things throughout the day just encouraged me - from being told how good I looked since I was discouraged about being at a plateau in my weight loss journey, to having fun losing at Uno at our year end lunch at work, to finding a purple plaid shirt at Rural King, among a myriad of other ways Holy Spirit has reminded me today to be joyful, prayerful, thankful, and that He always provides, whatever the need. “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. (‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭31-33‬ NLT)

A photo posted by Nora Whelan (@technoindigo) on Dec 11, 2014 at 6:36pm PST

Response to Rob Bell article on Relevant

Posted to my Facebook page on December 22, 2014 at 11:31am

I've not seen this show, but I did read the article linked here. The following is a quote from the article: "During the second segment, Bell dug further into his illustration by discussing the cross of Jesus Christ, and why it is the ultimate metaphor for the “reconciliation of all things.” His message was simple: The cross is such a culturally enduring symbol because it is a representation of what God did for us in order for people to be able to be reconciled to His perfect love[...]"

My question would then be: How can you talk about reconciliation and the cross and not talk about sin and hell? What's the point of having a Savior if there's no sin or hell to be saved from? Being saved from a messy past or a poor current situation here on earth isn't the complete answer! What did God do for us with that cross that Rob so (seemingly) trivially pointed to? He sent His Son to die for our sins so we'd have everlasting life! (John 3:16 {everlasting life being the opposite of everlasting death, which is where we would be going without Him}) Yes, love is good, because God is love. Yes, love (God) wins. But you cannot only highlight a single part of the Gospel. When you do that it ceases to be the Gospel because it ceases to be delivered in wholeness. The greatest love of all is that although we sinned, God still loved us in our sin, and sent His Son to take our sins upon Himself and die for that sin, so we could spend eternity with God. THAT is the greatest love. THAT is what people really NEED to hear. THAT is the point of the cross.

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/culture/-rob-bell-show-premiere-was-about-cross

Re: Leaving Church

(Posted on my personal Facebook page January 9 at 11:39am)

I keep seeing these posts from various publications about why people are leaving the church. The gist of all the ones I've read is that the church isn't doing enough to meet people where they are. The church should basically accept the lgbt community as it is, allow those who don't believe in heaven or hell to spread their misinterpreted doctrines, and allow swearing and drinking in excess. Here is a paragraph from this particular article (below at the end of this post) that pulls out some of the biblical examples of people the author apparently identifies with: 

"Even if we are the woman in adultery, or the doubting follower, or the rebellious prodigal, or the demon-riddled young man, we can’t be anything else right now in this moment; and in this moment, we need a Church big enough, and tough enough, and loving enough; not just for us as we might one day be then, but for us as we are, now."

Well, I have news for this author: The adulterous woman was forgiven and told to stop being adulterous; The doubting follower had faith and believed; The rebellious prodigal came home; The demon-riddled young man had his demons cast out from him! To think that you can come to Jesus and stay the same, without even a hint or an inkling of desire to ever change is the biggest lie out there about Christianity. And to go around hating on the church because YOU refuse to change... How in the world is that going to make a better church? Or even a better you?

No, people are leaving the church (in America) because they don't feel catered to, they aren't having their feelings met, and they aren't getting instant gratification.

If that isn't your reason for leaving the church, at least stop harping on how the church has failed you and look at what you can do for the church to help reach people! If you want a church that looks like Jesus, you better start acting like Jesus. Keep in mind, Jesus wasn't a social activist hipster.

http://www.churchleaders.com/outreach-missions/outreach-missions-articles/244545-dear-church-heres-people-really-leaving.html#.VK_eQUt43vU.facebook

Pay It Forward

I know that some people who post those "pay it forward" kind of things are just doing it to encourage others to do the same and give to those in need (if you've done this in not trying to step on your toes, I really want to encourage you to something greater). I've seen churches and prominent Christians post things about what they did to help someone. Sure, it gets a lot of likes and retweets and shares, and may even make you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. But that's just temporal stuff. What lasts is when the only person you share that good deed with, other than the one who received the blessing, is God. What if we did that? What if, instead of looking for some likes and shares and a viral Internet post to showcase our good deeds, we took those things before God. We would have the satisfaction of knowing that our all-knowing Father had seen what we'd done. Then, instead of having an Internet post that will spike in interest for a few minutes and be forgotten the next, we would also know that we would be rewarded in a more long term way. Again, maybe this is one of those things where we may not get rewarded this side of Heaven. But this is another way we can show our love to God - by being obedient to what He's asked of us. I'm learning a lot about that in my own personal study. Maybe I'll post more about obedience later. Like I said, I'm still learning. This was the verse of the day on the Youversion Bible App. It's a verse that has come to mind when I see the blogs and the Pinterest posts about paying it forward or posting your kind acts, etc. I don't want to make an act of kindness about me. I mean, shouldn't our kindnesses point to Christ anyway? Father, help me to give generously to those in need, without feeling the need to share (or overshare) on social media or elsewhere. Let me guard my speech, that it wouldn't be about me boasting about what I've done, but that I would boast only of You. Give me eyes to see that the reward from you should satisfy. In Jesus' name, Amen

A photo posted by Nora Whelan (@technoindigo) on Jan 3, 2015 at 9:03pm PST

Do Good and Don't Give Up

Whatever you're doing.  However you are serving others. Don't give up. Don't quit. Even if you are not given credit. Even if no one ever sees what you do. If no one ever hears of your deeds. Don't quit. Don't let pride steal away the blessing that is coming. Don't do it for the blessing. That's just the icing on the cake. But do good out of response to God. Because He loves us. Don't let the worldly desires of acknowledgment and accolades weary you if they don't come. Do good because you are a child of God. Do good because deep down in that new person that you are, you really want to. The flesh doesn't want to do good. It gets tired and lazy and selfish. But don't you know we all struggle with that tired, lazy, selfish flesh that just wants to stay comfortable? Doing good isn't always comfortable. Sometimes it's dirty, or too cold or hot, or stinky, or it keeps you up late. Sometimes doing good runs you face first into your fears that you have to trust to God while you strive to keep at it. But whatever you do, don't give up or get weary in doing good. There's a blessing coming. I don't know when, or where, or how (or if?) that might manifest this side of heaven... But a blessing is coming. Even if it's only our reward in heaven, isn't that enough? Isn't Christ enough of a reward to keep us motivated toward doing good? I'm convicted in my own spirit of these things as I write this. He should be enough for me. God, I thank you for the opportunities You have given me to do what is good. Help me to stay strong in the doing, and focus on You. I praise You for your abundant grace, that You do bless your people this side of heaven. But let whatever blessings you have for me on this earth not be my focus or my goal. Lord, help me live to please Your Spirit and do Your will. In Jesus' name, Amen.

A photo posted by Nora Whelan (@technoindigo) on Jan 2, 2015 at 4:52pm PST

New Year's Eve

God knows what's going to go on in our lives, when we don't. Especially when we don't. We try to plan. We try to do things our own way. But God knows what's going to happen. His will isn't for our harm. If we find ourselves in captivity - captivity to sin, living in the wilderness, in a dry season - we need to pray. And we need to truly seek His face. God promises that when we seek Him we will find Him. Let's seek His face this year. Let's look for Him, whether we are rejoicing or whether we are facing isolation and captivity through some circumstance from without or from within. Whatever we find ourselves, we should pray. We should seek His face. We should draw closer to Him, de we can find Him, and share in the blessings He longs to pour out to us. #NYE

A photo posted by Nora Whelan (@technoindigo) on Dec 31, 2014 at 7:40pm PST

Set Apart

Romans 12:2 (ESV)

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

John 17:15-18 (ESV)

I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world.
  

2 Corinthians 7:1 (ESV)

Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.

1 Peter 5:8 (ESV)

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

Colossians 3:1 (ESV)

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.

John 15:19 (ESV)

If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.


Just a few of the verses about being set apart.


So called Christians keep acting like the world.

I want to live set apart.

For those under pressure

Reading 2 Corinthians one day, it dawned on me that some of the first few verses of the passage are very powerful in how they say that what you go through is for the glory of God. In my NIV Study Bible, it notes that Paul is probably speaking here in the third person about himself, for literary effect, and not speaking of an actual group of people unless the context indicates such. So I wrote down the passage in first person, as if Paul were speaking of himself here. Look at what he is saying to this congregation:

We were talking tonight during Bible study about how people see things happening to people and they can't understand why. Our pastor mentioned a story someone online told about a car wreck they had seen, and the 4 believers who had been in a car that wrecked and rolled, and then caught fire, had seen a spiritual being pull them from the wreckage. The person online had asked why the wreck had happened in the first place. The primary answer we all thought of was that God would get the glory. I can think of many other situations in which this passage would be applicable. If someone has been in a life threatening situation, dealing with disease, battling depression or suicidal thoughts, facing financial strain or other stresses so great that you don't know what to do... any time something happens that brings you to despair that you cannot handle, or puts you in fear for your life, and you come through that, God should be given the glory. He has brought us through those things so that we would rely on Him. Whatever He has brought you through. Whatever He is bringing you through. He is with you.

~ ~ ~

Below I've included the video "Just Keep Breathing" by We The Kings. Although the group is not a Christian band, this song has a very Christian spiritual theme to it (at least in how I'm looking at it, God can speak so much through music that's not "Christian" music). I follow the CTFxC on YouTube, which is the bassist for the band, Charles Trippy's channel for his daily vlogs. I know that the language and lifestyle of the members is far more secular than Christian. But I think they realize that there's something more. Recently they have been thanking their fans for their thoughts and prayers due to Charles having some seizures recently, after celebrating one year since his first. So they have at least given some credit there. However, there is so much in this song. It's an encouragement that you're not alone. Let go of the things that are too much for you. I'd like to follow that up with "Give it to God". Let it go and give it to God. Don't try to hold on to it. As Professor Scott Johnson of Bethel College used to say, "Inhale grace. Exhale gratitude." God will give you the grace to get through whatever it is pressing down on you. Give Him praise that He has, or is, delivering you.

Perplexed

So many things on my mind that I could write about right now.

Today was our last big work day at the new church building to get it ready for Resurrection Sunday... which is tomorrow. It was hard, but we did it, Praise God! Kind of thankful we're not having Bible Study in the morning, because we will be focusing on the main service. We had a test-run tonight, to get the kinks worked out of the sound system and such. Two people were baptized, and we had food and fireworks afterward.

For some reason it feels like it's been a long time since I've been with my church family. It's only been since Sunday. But worshiping with them tonight was much needed. My heart has been longing to sing out in worship. Probably because this week has been one that has had me perplexed. The last couple of months or so have been super stressful all around, but this week was just... different.

I thought it was interesting, when I read the passage from 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 that this is where the song "I'm Trading My Sorrows" gets its lyrics. The leave out the part about being perplexed, but not in despair. Of course it didn't rhyme with the rest of the lines/rhythm of the song (though if they tried hard, I'm sure it *could* have worked!) But it is such a powerful line. If we are perplexed - We don't know what to do. But we are not in despair over it, which would be the normal response to not knowing what to do about something. Because isn't that what we do when we don't know what to do? We fret, we worry, we let our thoughts run rampant and they kind of take over. But as Christians, we don't have to be that way. We can be perplexed. However, we don't have to fret, or worry, or over-think things to the point we want to pull our hair out and scream.

So if you are hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, struck down, or all of the above; take courage, because in Christ you are not crushed, you're not to despair, you're not abandoned, and you are not destroyed.

I know this is the last thing the enemy wants you to hear, much less think and believe. But maybe you just have to believe this to get through whatever it is you may be going through. Maybe this is a choice you have to make. Maybe it is a new attitude that the Holy Spirit has given you. Maybe you're just having a bad day and you need some encouragement. Be encouraged. Life doesn't have to be like it's always been.

It's been a while

It's been a while since I've posted. Not that I haven't had things to post about. I have been sidetracked by work, being sick with a sinus infection, and trying to help out with the new church building as much as possible.

I have a new craft project I'll be working on as soon as I can get my supplies. It will involve carving basswood. I am so excited for this!

So much other stuff I would like to post right now, but I have to get going. I might make a post through the week if I have time. This is all I have for not.

Valentine's Day

I found myself annoyed with the Valentine's Day stuff this year. More so than usual. I usually don't care much for it either way. I still don't care for it much but it's really annoying sometimes when you have been single forever. I had read the passage below several weeks ago, then was reminded of it again at Bible study last night. I have quoted it below - parentheses mine.

"Are you pledged to (another)? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a (spouse)... I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord." (1 Corinthians 7:27, 32-35 NIV)

Famous One

I was reading through my news feed on Facebook earlier. Someone posted about a famous person being at a meeting or conference they were attending. They said they would be front and center in the audience while this person were speaking.

When I read that I though that If given opportunity to meet someone famous people stand in awe in their presence.

We have opportunity, not only every once in a while, but daily to stand in the presence of the true Famous One.

Do we treat our time with God the same we treat our time with a human who happens to be popular in the eyes of your peers or the world?

I'm not saying that we run around screaming our heads off and fainting like these preteen girls do for Justin Bieber.

What I am saying is that maybe we should be a little more excited for what God has done through Christ for us! We clap louder for a good play during a football game on tv. Should we not cheer that God has defeated death and given us eternal life? Isn't this something that we should be a little more than ho-hum about?

Anyway... That's my random thought for the day. I know it's not a very well written thought, but it's what was on my mind.

Rhinocehorse

I had a strange dream last night. Not that most of my dreams aren't, but this one stuck with me long enough to remember it.

I dreamed that I was at my parents house, and had to go outside to do something at 4am or so. It was more light than dark out, but I could sense that the time was around 4am. The color was not quite like dusk, but almost, that blue-gray-dark color that is still light enough to see detail but dark enough you know it isn't daylight anymore. I looked west beyond the corner of the porch as I headed back inside. Over by the fence I saw a horse looking creature. It was a greenish-gray color, and looked to be fairly muscle bound, like it was a body builder or something, its muscles were huge and somewhat foreboding. Its face looked somewhat angry or determined. It also had this large protrusion from its face, like a horn, but it wasn't a unicorn, because it did not originate from its forehead, but more the bridge of its nose, like a rhinoceros. Its horn was a good 3 or 4 feet in length, almost looking like a broadsword, but very dull and rough, almost like the weapon used by the Uruk-Hai in Lord of the Rings, except without the extra turn to the blade on the end.

The creature saw me and breathed out deeply, and changed course from south along the fence row to due east, directly toward me. It came down to a dip and up over the short rise near the very edge of the porch, and swung around toward me. As it came toward me I was wary, but not really afraid of it. Adrenaline was pumping, and I was in a fight or flight mode, but I let the creature come toward me, because I could not run fast enough to make it inside before we would collide. So I stood near the sidewalk, which was as close as I could get to the door, and I waited for it to come. When it did near me, I seemed to do one of those slow motion martial arts blocks with it. I stood there and stepped to the right, using my right hand across to simply push its horn to the left as I sidestepped. Since it was running at full speed, it had to continue in a counterclockwise run in a fairly wide circle around me.

I then ran inside the porch and latched the door. I thought that it was not much safer inside, since the door was a simple screen door, and the windows could obviously be punctured by that massive horn, but the creature circled a moment and left, once I was inside.

Then I woke up briefly, only to go back to sleep and dream other strange dreams that I don't remember. But this one I did remember.

The End of the World as We Know It

As I was driving back to my apartment tonight, I looked up and saw a small bright light coming straight down over the shoulder of the road. It looked like a shooting star. But it seemed a lot closer, like maybe 50 feet in front of me. It was probably a reflection from the lights of the car passing me on the left. I don't know. I thought it seemed a bit strange. Then I thought about if it were the end times (like for real, not like this is the age of the end times kind of thing) then how sudden would that be? And how strange it would look to people. What if this was it?

Then I thought about what we talk about in church all the time but I rarely see happening (of whose fault but my own?) - ask yourself -
How many of the people do I know would be going to heaven in the end times?
How many of them can actually say that Jesus Christ is their Lord and Savior?
How many of them think of His name as something other than a swear word when they are frustrated
How many just think He is an awkward and uncomfortable topic of conversation?
How many of them simply don't believe that He exists?

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son."
John 3:16-18 NIV

You have been given a choice. We are not robots. You can choose to follow and do your own thing. Live your life how you want to live it. Out have that freedom. Or you can go after the good things. It means denying self. It doesn't mean this life here on earth will be perfect. But it means a security in your eternal existence. It means that you will not be bound for eternal torture, that you are trying so feebly to run from right now. Just look at what we do. We try to avoid bad situations an horrible things and circumstances. It's impossible to do so here on earth. But it's not impossible with Christ in the scheme of eternity. Think about that for a moment. Everything that hurts you. You could be living with that pain for eternity. Or you could turn it over to your Savior who took all that pain and agony on Himself, hung it on the cross, and separated it as far as the east from the west when He rose up out of that grave!

You can be mad at me for posting such things. Or you can study and see what the Bible is really all about. If you don't know something, study it. Be willing to learn. You cannot be open minded if you shut out the things you are unsure or have questions about. Ask questions. I may not be able to answer all of them, but I can try. If I don't know something I will do some research and try to find an answer for you.

You'll never get to know someone without having a conversation with them. I can at least help with the introductions. The rest is up to you, whether you keep that conversation going. I can only plant seeds, I can't make them grow.

The Greatest of These is Agape

1 Corinthians 13

New International Version (NIV)

13 If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Resolution/Revolution

New Year's. The cliche time of year when people make resolutions that typically last maybe a week. Maybe longer. But rarely through the year.

I don't really have any resolutions. Goals, maybe. But not resolutions in the traditional sense.

I'm currently sitting at my parent's house watching/listening to the International House of Prayer, Kansas City, onething conference. Ringing in the new year, not with watching a shiny crystal ball fall from a tower in NYC and listening to pithy secular music, but ringing in the new year with worshiping the One who gave us life. I desire to see the level of worship that they have at onething in the local churches here. The focus on prayer and worship, along with rightly dividing the Word.

My desires for the new year are to grow deeper in Christ. To sell out to Him. To lose myself for the One who found me. In my worship, in my prayer life, in my devotions, in my readings, in my life.

On Sunday, pastor Floyd talked about living wholeheartedly for God, and asked the simple question: Are you living wholeheartedly for God? Just a few days ago I was thinking about how I don't like who I am outside of church. I let my guard down. I don't pay as close attention to what I say, or how I react to things, or who is around me. It made me thing: What kind of Christian am I? A Pharisaical hypocrite! I don't want to catch myself wondering how I would act, or react, if I were around people from church. Because it doesn't matter whether I am around people from church, or if I'm in the middle of a crowd of strangers - there. is. always. ONE. constant. - and that is Christ. He is the only One I should care about how I act around. Which means the anger, and irritation, and annoyance (because I tend to be antisocial and jump to conclusions, etc [like walking into a store and being judgmental because they don't have something on the shelf that I think they should have and I let them know it), need to be transformed into love. So, in short: No. I haven't been living wholeheartedly.

Another desire for this new year... Which sounds like a cliche resolution at first: to lose weight/become more fit. But I want to do it, not only for health, or to fit into clothes I haven't worn since college... I want to get to a point where I can kneel in prayer again. Maybe that sounds silly. I know that how you situate yourself when you pray is not as meaningful as what you pray... but there's just something about kneeling in prayer. And I can't stand it that I can't kneel. So that's my biggest motivation for losing weight. Aside from all the other reasons (like maybe my knees wouldn't give me such issues in general, aside from not being able to bend to kneel). I want to be able to jump and lift my hands in worship without being self-conscious about how I might look (Coz I know it can't be pretty).

I also hope to continue to grow in my spiritual giftings/discovering them. Learning to walk in what I haven't yet fully discovered or had revealed to me.

I'm excited for what this year holds. I could recap this last year. It was full of firsts. Apartment. Full-time job. Car. It was also a time of transition and growth. Much of that to do with my church (no it's not technically mine, i don't own it, it's God's church, but it's where i go, and where i call home). A point of transition - spiritually especially, happened during out Women's retreat in August. I am blown away by the transformation in the women of the church, in myself, and in the church as a whole as a result of the things we learned that weekend. I feel like it accomplished what we set out to do: grow deeper in Christ, and get to know each other better and bring unity to our women's group. Although I have not been able to attend on Wednesday nights much since the retreat, I still feel that there is a closeness that was not there before the retreat. It brought us together. Most important it brought us closer to Jesus. I really feel like that weekend, although I was kind of distant all weekend due to personal battles trying to steal it from me, was a turning point for me to bring me out of the desert again.

I can't wait to see what God has in store for me this year, but also for the church. I'm looking forward - praying & believing - for immense spiritual growth, for courage to spread the Gospel, to speak to the surrounding people and communities, to show the people in this county who God truly is.

Anyway, that is all I have for now. I already started this post last year, and what do you know, a new year has already rolled around! (sorry for the stale new year's joke)

Create

I have been trying to let my creative side out a little more lately. I have been doing some art projects on paper with yarn, as well as pen/pencil/crayon, and I have just re-installed my Adobe Photoshop Elements 6.0, which I had lost after moving, and just recently rediscovered.

Here are some of the things that I have been creating.

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One of the first projects I did a few months ago. Just Sharpie markers and highlighter on paper.

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Inspired by Luke 6:45 "A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."

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My latest Sharpie/pencil project. The pencil colors didn't turn out as bright as I had hoped, but I didn't have markers that I wanted to use for them, because they were too bold. But these are the three panels I ended up with.

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 Got the idea for this from gracewaymedia.com/ and tried to do my best at recreating it. (I'd go buy theirs if I had the money - mine is not refined at all.)

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Another attempt, with blue and purple, instead of two shades of blue. No snowflakes on this one either.

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Red and tan diagonal stripes. I was trying to do something in my church's colors. It didn't turn out readable. So I made one with a bit of white over the top of it so text could be added.

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640x480 attempt at following the tutorial from octotuts on YouTube.

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HD version! lol. Didn't turn out great, but the scatter/fade/etc is not the same in Photoshop Elements as it is in the real deal. Wish I could afford CS-whatever-number-they-are-up-to-now. For Photoshop and Illustrator.

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This was inspired by our pastor's description of what he plans to preach about next week. He's going to talk about how people are "fans" of Jesus, and "like" Him, but don't really FOLLOW Him.

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There you have it. My most recent art endeavors. Just trying to do something somewhat productive with the artsy gifting that God has given me.